23 National Nightmares We’ve Already Overcome

Courtesy: http://www.chipotlefriendorfaux.com/

#3: Chipotle’s E. coli Outbreak

What a horrifying time to be alive. Last year’s Chipotle E. coli nightmare not only forced the stores to close down, nationwide, for a full DAY, but made it such that we may never be able to trust them again. It’s hard enough to find great, cheap Mexican food. But when we finally found Chipotle, which was not only great and cheap but READILY available, it was like a mirage. A meaty, saucy, cheesy, beautiful mirage. But then, the worst happened. Some of its meats became contaminated. This wonderful, comforting friend who’s always been there for us in our times of need (read: desperation) is now trying to KILL US?!?!?! It was scary. Almost as scary as when we found out we couldn’t eat at Chick-fil-A anymore because they don’t support gay people. Why must everything we love hurt us!?!!?!

And though it was a harrowing time, Chipotle did its best to make it up to us. They offered us free food upon its reopening (again, from its singular day off) as a consolation. And who can resist free food, even if it IS possibly contaminated?! NOT CHIPOTLE CONSUMERS, THAT’S FOR SURE! There haven’t been any more scares since ~the incident~ and I, for one, and more than willing to throw my full trust back into them, because I truly can’t afford to live without their barbacoa. I also can’t afford their guacamole. But that’s a different fight for a different day.