9-year-old writes adorable New Yorker captions guaranteed to make you smile
By Mia Johnson
A 9-year-old girl became an instant hit on Twitter when her cousin posted some of her hilarious New Yorker captions. Each of them is perfectly adorable.
The New Yorker caption contest just got pretty heated, and the biggest competitor is an awesome, 9-year-old girl.
Alice, the ace at making captions, usually picks up a copy of her mother’s New Yorker, flips to the caption contest page and quietly fills in the cartoons’ captions. That’s all according to TV writer Bess Kalb, the cousin who discovered her cousin’s brilliance and shared it on Twitter.
One of the best captions — and they’re honestly all good — is the first picture shared featuring a business women speaking to a chef in prison. “I told you to give the mayor a pizza,” Alice wrote.
Another one shows a literal rat with wings next to a pigeon on a rooftop. The caption reads “You okay buddy?!” With jokes like that, you can’t help but laugh at how ingenious it is, even for someone her age.
Check out some of Alice’s captions below:
Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight. pic.twitter.com/Lhzmq7Pnsb
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 4, 2018
There are so many (she grabs every issue before her mom can get ahold of it) and every single one of them is perfect. pic.twitter.com/vsnG2unIbN
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 4, 2018
From last year. The best one. pic.twitter.com/UzUgwQzGB7
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 5, 2018
You want more? You got more: pic.twitter.com/Fea7PksLq9
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 5, 2018
In another Tweet, Kalb wrote, “Alice is an incredible kid. She loves her little brother and @HamiltonTheMusical (she knows EVERY lyric). Teachers don’t always encourage creative writing, so today has been a huge shot of confidence for her. Let young girls know when they’re funny and smart. Many people don’t.”
Kalb used the platform to emphasize how important it is to support girls like Alice who show an interest in comedy. As a comedy writer herself, Kalb knew how hard it was for she and others like her to break into the industry.
“This could happen to Alice very easily, even with supportive parents,” Kalb wrote. “Her teacher ALREADY TOLD HER not to get ‘fancy’ with her writing this year. Middle school boys don’t want to date girls who can get bigger laughs than them. So we adjust to fit everyone’s expectations.”
Alice is so lucky her amazing, hilarious mom @kimkassnove recognizes and celebrates her for trying (DILIGENTLY) to be funny. It's exhausting to beat this drum, but comedy writing is an overwhelmingly male-dominated enterprise. Look through Emmy nominees for talk and sketch shows.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 5, 2018
In the thread, Kalb couldn’t stress enough how important it is to remind young ladies that when they’re funny, they’re funny. It should be a celebrated talent, not a suppressed one. And she’s right.
If young Alice can keep this up, she might have a life full of funny moments. Maybe she’ll become a New Yorker satirist herself. (We’d gladly add her to the Culturess team.)
Related Story: 10 of the funniest ‘If you don’t love me’ memes on Twitter
Which of Alice’s captions is your favorite? We know it’s hard to pick just one!