23 National Nightmares We’ve Already Overcome

Courtesy: NBC

#17: Ashlee Simpson’s SNL Hoedown

This was a nightmare not because of what actually took place, per se. Sure, we were shocked that one of our most long-trusted allies, Saturday Night Live, had betrayed us by only living up to two thirds of its name. But mostly, it was nightmarish because of how we handled it. Yes, she knowingly tried to get away with lip-syncing despite the show’s promise of live entertainment. Yes, she made it much worse by breaking into some sort of potentially exorcism-requiring hoedown to distract us from her flub. And YES, it was funny. It’s actually still funny. I couldn’t even look at YouTube’s thumbnail of the video without laughing. But despite this incident having forced us to distrust the people we trust most in this world- CELEBRITIES!!!- it also should have taught us to, like, maybe be nice for one minute. She was literally mere days out of being a teenager. She was about to perform, knowing RIGHTFULLY, IT TURNS OUT, that every move she made would be scrutinized under a microscope. And, lest we forget, she was living in the shadow of someone else’s dream.

We have way too much fun tearing people (*cough women cough*) apart, so may we let this be a lesson to us as Americans to, next time, be better. Note: the lesson in no way precludes us from laughing at the next distraction-hoedown we may encounter. Just, like, laugh quietly.