23 National Nightmares We’ve Already Overcome

Screengrab “The X-Files,” courtesy of Fox.

#18: The X-Files Revival…Mostly

It causes me physical pain to have to write this, but The X-Files season 10 revival was very mediocre, bordering on apocalyptically disappointing. I love this show more than almost anything on this Earth AND in outer space, but unfortunately, it did not make America great again. At best, it made last February, like, fine again. There were a few good moments. There was one incredible Darin Morgan-helmed episode. There was a weird faux-flashback wherein we got to witness the adorable hypothetical mothering Scully got to provide for her doomed alien-son. But the creepiness that kept us holding on for 9 seasons wasn’t there, the mythology was weak, and most painfully, Scully and Mulder were BARELY together. The chemistry that kept our attention for 43 minutes per week for almost a decade had nearly disappeared, and when it peeked out of the shadows, it felt as though the writers had realized they’d forgotten about their PURE AND ABIDING LOVE and plugged in a line or two as an afterthought.

Week by week, we all hoped things would get better, but they continued to disappoint. We felt let down, hopeless, and longed for the old times back. And the orange wig was so distracting, it bordered on offensive. Whoa, I’m sorry-I wasn’t supposed to be talking about the election anymore! We wanted to believe, and we did, only to find things might’ve been better had we never had the chance. But at least we got to look at that lovely face, experience those immaculate pantsuits once more, and watch her effortlessly float through the man’s world she’s been dominating since we’ve met her and kick ass the way only a woman like her could. DAMN, I did it again!!!!