23 National Nightmares We’ve Already Overcome

Courtesy: ChEEk Magazine

#21: Team Aniston vs. Team Jolie

Our nation has been torn apart by countless hot-button issues, but perhaps none so hot (in every sense of the word **wink emoji**…sorry) as 2005’s split heard round the world. Jennifer Aniston (queen) and Brad Pitt (attractive bore) ended their years-long relationship because of a confirmed affair Pitt was having with co-star Angelina Jolie, perhaps you’ve heard of her??? The media went crazy covering the breakup and subsequent drama surrounding the triangle of pretty, pretty madness. And, hindsight being 20/20, we the people didn’t handle it so great either.

We wasted absolutely no time and had zero moral qualms about pitting (PUN INTENDED AF) these women against each other, as though it were 1) any of our business or 2) either of their faults. Even looking back on it, it feels like some sort of sick social experiment that we 100% failed. We actually had ARGUMENTS with each other about who we were supporting. We thought WAY too hard about these STRANGERS’ LIVES. Some garbage company like Hollister even made GD T-SHIRTS that allowed us to put American dollars into showing the world which pained woman we were deciding to hate the least. It was a dark time for us, especially now that we know Brad Pitt didn’t deserve either of them and also that IT’S STILL NOT OUR BUSINESS. They both have great hair and are incredibly beautiful and intelligent and deft at navigating the gross world of fame into which we’ve thrown them so the real loser here was us, America. We may have had people on Teams Aniston and Jolie but NO ONE was on team USA, I’ll tell ya that much. Now go think about what you’ve done.