23 National Nightmares We’ve Already Overcome

Courtesy: Universal Pictures

#7: Jurassic World Heelgate

This particular country-wide controversy continually fails to make any type of sense to me. Lemme lay out the issue: people were mad/upset/confused that Jurassic World’s heroine, Claire, was forced to spend the entire film running from dinos in heels. The actual source of contention seemed to be that, as the basically singular woman in this male-driven genre, she was forced to uphold gender stereotypes and, even though she kinda kicks ass and saves the day, still largely only functions in the film as a thing to be objectified. I get that. I totally, 100% am appalled that we couldn’t just let this character who HAPPENS to be a woman be a person and do what needed to be done and, instead, created this garbage b-plot wherein she’s longing for a child and a boyfriend ALL THE WHILE STILL LOOKING HOT. But listen. The heels? The HEELS are what we’re choosing to be mad at? I’ll tell you one thing, as resident feminist yeller, the heels were the LAST thing I was ready to feel any type of way about.

I feel GREAT about the heels! I feel like the heels don’t detract from her credibility in the slightest. It might be a reach, but to me, it felt that the outfit (heels, too) serves as a tiny symbol of empowerment and a nod to hard-working ladies who do the same work OR MORE than their male counterparts, but have to do it while looking good or they won’t be taken seriously. I may be spinning this in a way so as to take back the sexism behind the gesture and reclaim it as a pointedly feminist move, but the fact that Claire was able to defend herself and her nephews against a GD T-REX in HEELS was badass as hell! Yeah, she’s a lady. Yeah, she’s in a shirt and heels. But she can still fight a raptor- JUST LIKE THE REST OF US!!!! Also she was at work and she is a very important scientist what the hell did you want her to be wearing- sweats and a tee?!??!?!?! BUT ANYWAY, FEMINISM, YAAAAAY.