23 National Nightmares We’ve Already Overcome

19 of 24

Courtesy: Blockbuster.com

#6: Blockbuster Closing

If there is one thing we love in this country, it’s finding ways to make being lazy easier and cheaper. So when Blockbuster rolled around, and we could just go to a store and borrow a couple of movies for like $3 instead of having to go SIT in a THEATER, we were like, “Yes please, til death do we part!” Well, death came early. We lived many happy years with BB, stuck through it in its transition from tapes to DVDs, even agreed to price increases several times, because we were in it to win it, baby. But then Netflix happened. And it got so easy to be lazy, we didn’t even have to LEAVE OUR BEDS. We could do what Blockbuster did for us with an online queue, and the farthest we’d ever have to walk was to our mailboxes! SCORE!!!! But also, wait. No. This meant….the end? The end of walking through aisles, crouching over rows of new releases, arguing with your siblings over which 2 night rental was worth it, and impromptu register candy…forever!?!?!?

I have lived through a lot in my 24 years on this Earth, and I’ve seen my country make a lot of mistakes. I’ve been scared for my future, doubted that I was being taken care of as a citizen, and wondered if I really would get to live out all of my days enjoying the benefits of both liberty AND justice. And I’ll tell you something: there is absolutely no justice in the fact that by the time I was finally old enough to get my very own Blockbuster card, the last stores were shutting their doors for good. THANKS, OBAMA. (I’m sorry I know this isn’t your fault and I’m willing to bet Joe Biden still sheds weekly tears over this very issue I shouldn’t have taken it out on you please never leave me like Blockbuster did.)