Outlander review: Miscommunication’s the name of the game in ‘The Birds & The Bees’

Outlander embraces two of the most tired conventions of television — unexpected pregnancy and easily rectified miscommunication — in “The Birds & the Bees.”

Let’s focus on the good first, shall we?

Despite the rocky start (i.e. the public urination and the assumption she’s hitting on him), Brianna’s meeting Jamie for the first time was pretty awesome. It was a fairly simple, quiet scene, but it really delivered. Bree introduces herself, she and Jamie embrace and they’re both crying within a couple of minutes. I don’t watch Outlander for the touching family scenes, but even my cold heart was moved by this long overdue father-daughter moment.

Also good: the way “The Birds & the Bees” portrays the unique dynamics between Bree and Claire and Bree and Jamie. Claire, for instance, realizes almost instantly that something is very wrong with her daughter. Jamie, who loves Bree deeply but doesn’t really know her yet, assumes a broken heart is the extent of her troubles. Claire and Brianna have a more natural, lived-in relationship. Meanwhile, Jamie is delighted to see his daughter, but is so scared of ruining the good time, he’s walking on eggshells around her, especially whenever Frank comes up in conversation.

While we’re on the topic of Frank, I appreciate Outlander allowing Jamie to be, well, jealous of the man who raised his daughter. Ninety-nine percent of the time, Jamie is noble, level-headed, honest and decent. In other words, he’s a heterosexual woman’s fantasy. So it was interesting, and just plain fun, to see the shadow of a grimace appear on his face when Bree mentioned her father taught her how to shoot. The testy “Frank. I ken his name” was a delight, too. Jamie is grateful to Frank for taking care of Brianna and Claire, but — in a parallel to Claire’s attitude toward John Grey — he’s also resentful of being deprived of an entire life with his own wife and daughter.

Alright, onto the not-so-good.

Newsflash, Outlander (and any other long-running shows looking to create drama): you don’t always have to knock up a female character. There are actually other stories to tell about women. And impregnating a young woman who’s just survived a sexual assault seems especially cruel. With that trauma, getting to know her biological dad and having an MIA quasi-husband, Bree has more than enough on her plate without an infant who was most likely fathered by her rapist.

I’m not sure if this was the show’s way of exploring how Claire and Jamie work together as co-parents, but I was furious on Brianna’s behalf when her mother immediately told Jamie about the rape and pregnancy. That wasn’t Claire’s call to make, and the very fact that it took Bree weeks to confide in her mother suggests she might not be ready for anyone else to know. Perhaps that scene was supposed to stress how protective the Frasers are of their daughter; to me, it read as Brianna getting cut out of her own story.

Which brings me to the most egregious part of “The Birds & the Bees”: the infuriating, unnecessary, monumental miscommunication. The episode’s big “cliffhanger” — Jamie believing Roger is Bree’s assailant and beating him to a bloody pulp — is idiotic and could, of course, be avoided if Jamie hadn’t (uncharacteristically) acted like a Neanderthal.

“Why should I check with my daughter and find out how she wants her attacker to be dealt with?” Jamie apparently thought to himself before kicking Roger in the face. “It’s not as if I’ve ever listened to a woman’s opinion before. Ponytail Boy bad! Jamie SMASH!”

And Lizzie, while your unrequited devotion to Bree is sweet and even though you did try to talk to her about the attack, to no avail, let’s remember what happens when you assume. You could have told Brianna her possible abuser had shown up instead of her cousin or father. She would have set you straight and then we all could have been spared another Roger-trying-to-find-Brianna storyline.

When you isolate the annoying bits of “The Birds & the Bees” — the unplanned pregnancy, the violence, the needless lapses in communication — none of them seem like that big a deal. Outlander has indulged in them all before, and the storylines usually served some purpose.

But this time the outcome is much less than the sum of its parts. We all know Jamie is going to find out Bonnet is the person who hurt Bree. We all know Roger is eventually going to find his way back to Brianna. Why does the show insist on piling on the meaningless drama? There’s plenty of story to be mined just from Bree’s burgeoning bond with Jamie and her complicated relationship with Claire.

There are only four episodes left this season, Outlander. Cut the (repetitive, exploitative, eye-roll-worthy) fat and get to the good stuff already.

Afterthoughts:

• Sam Heughan is obviously having a fantastic time hamming it up with Jamie’s glasses. I crack a rib giggling every time he puts them on or brandishes them as he’s in deep thought.
• Jamie really out-cutes himself trying to bond with his daughter. He calls her “leannan,” or “darling,” and “m’ annsachd,” or “my blessing.” And he asks her to call him “Da.” That feeling you’re experiencing right now is your heart swelling.
• “Bree” is apparently a Scots Gaelic word that means “a disturbance.” That’s pretty much how I saw Brianna when she first appeared on the show.
• But I’m learning to like her more and more. This line was amazing: “I didn’t think I needed to pack condoms, Mama!”
• Turns out Jamie was talking about preventing his and Claire’s death by fire when he mentioned changing history again in the episode promo.
• Overall, Claire is keeping pretty cool about the news of her imminent demise: “Well, it certainly is disconcerting.”
• Lizzie has the hots for Young Ian. So that’s happening, I guess.
• “When it comes to ye, Auntie Claire, I’ve learned it’s better not to ask too many questions.” Good call, Ian. Good call.