20 of the weirdest Batman stories ever

3. Stone Age Batman

Before he was causing trouble in Justice League: Darkseid War, evil emperor Darkseid was still making things difficult for Bruce Wayne. At the beginning of Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne, Darkseid creates an explosion of “Omega Beams” that flings Bruce Wayne back through time. And this isn’t just a few decades or centuries. No, Darkseid (and, by extension, writer Grant Morrison) manages to send Batman way back.

How far? Well, an amnesiac Bruce Wayne eventually wakes up a few thousand years back, in prehistoric times. He is faced with a group of hostile Neanderthals, but luckily a young human finds Batman’s utility belt and gives it back to him.

Bats isn’t quite sure what he’s supposed to do, but a few things come naturally. He procures the pelt of a giant bat — because of course he does — and starts whaling on the cavemen. When he jumps through a waterfall, Batman is transported forward through time to Puritan-dominated New England.

Time traveling Bats

Thereafter, Batman keeps jumping forward in time, getting closer and closer to his own time period, but not without an adventure or two first. He goes witch hunting, gallops about the Old West, and mopes about in a familiar noir setting. We even see the return of pirate Batman.

All along the way, Wayne’s previous actions consistently affect his present. Apparently, his vicious Stone Age persona really resonated with those cave people. Even into the modern day, Batman has to deal with a very familiar bat-suited ancient god known as (sigh) “Barbatos.” At one point, noir Batman is almost sacrificed to a cult that worships Barbatos.

Eventually, Batman makes his way to the Vanishing Point, a location of sorts at the very end of time. There, he finally gets all of his memories back. With the help of the Justice League, Batman is able to return to his own time, though with some exceedingly strange stories to tell.