19 Marvel men ranked by how much we want them to slide into our DMs

The Marvel boys are some of the hottest heroes around. Thus it is both an easy and hard task to rank who we’d want to get at the most.

Look, we all love the men of Marvel. If we’re not talking about their butts, then we’re talking about their arms or their sex appeal. So when Buzzfeed ranked the sexy men of Marvel, we had some *edits* if you will.

Why? Well, honestly, who ranks Stephen Strange high up on a list? He’s the literal worst. So we decided to rank these beautiful Marvel boys as we saw fit.

Before we begin, we have to give an honorable mention to Tom Holland. The actor is 21 and a definite cutie. But we won’t cover Peter Parker because he was 15 in Spider-Man: Homecoming and that’s just a no. If you’re in high school though, feel free to crush on Spidey.

Okay, here… we… go.

19. Stephen Strange/Dr. Strange

The argument is that Stephen would be good with his hands but at what cost? Stephen is the kind of dude who wouldn’t ever do anything for you in bed just because he enjoyed your pleasure. He’d always want something in return because this is the guy who played the victim card when he crashed a car because he was texting.

18. Peter Quill/Starlord

Come on, Peter would be a fun time. But he is definitely the guy who is going to take care of himself then be like “that was fun” and not ask you how you felt about it. He’s not exactly a bad dude but also not the most considerate.

17. Bruce Banner/Hulk

Here is the problem with Bruce Banner: if he gets too into it, you run the risk of him turning into Hulk and being killed. Not exactly the makeout we’re looking for. So like, is the risk worth the reward? That or he’d be so worried about hulking out that he’d be too cautious. It is a double-edged sword but I guess if you’re into the risk of dying, then Hulk is the one for you.

16. Drax

Okay so like Drax wouldn’t exactly be the one you’d want to date but he’d be a fun time. Probably great one-night stand material. You’d tell your friends you slept with an alien and then you’d be on your merry way. Plus you’d be the coolest friend around because again, you slept with an alien.

15. Vision

Vision was pretty high up on the Buzzfeed list and I don’t get it? Is it because his costume leaves nothing up to our imagination? But also isn’t part of Vision’s thing that he can just walk through walls? So would he just kind of float through you? Or would his infinity stone head piece give him super-human abilities in the bed room? Whatever the case may be, Paul Bettany is hot so at least he’d be fun to look at.

14. Nick Fury

Pirates are sexy so that eye patch would do anyone wonders. Also I just feel like Nick Fury would put on some Marvin Gaye and we’d be settled in for a night of sweet love. That’s right, Nick doesn’t just sleep with women. He makes them feel loved and worshipped.

13. Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver

Looking for a fast romp in the sheets? Well… I mean, he’s Quicksilver. Also his father is Magento so we’ve all seen what Michael Fassbender is packing. Sure, he’s a bit extra and has an ego but probably for a reason.

12. James Rhodes/War Machine

Maybe I’m projecting because he’s portrayed by Don Cheadle but Rhodey seems like quite the charmer. He’d dazzle you with a smile and before you know it, you’re in his bed having the time of your life. I mean, his arms are fun to look at and you’d get to touch them. That is a win right there.

11. The Grandmaster

Y’all this is just Jeff Goldblum in space. So of course he’d be fun in bed. He has orgies in space so he clearly is doing something right. Everyone on that planet (and in the movie theater) wanted to sleep with him and it isn’t hard to see why.

10. Clint Barton/Hawkeye

He has like 12 kids. So like… clearly he is doing something right.

9. Loki

Okay again, projecting, but have y’all seen Crimson Peak? Hiddleston knows what’s up. And if you’re with the god of mischief like… come on. He’s the god of mischief. Loki would find many different ways to have a good time (ahem). Yeah, he might not care about your feelings, but sometimes you just need a little fun in your life.

8. Steve Rogers/Captain America

Okay, to be fair, you’d never compare to Peggy Carter. But those beautiful arms would hold you close and make sure you felt loved. Because Steve Rogers is a sweetheart, it would be beautiful. Just like Chris Evans and his booty.

7. Tony Stark/Iron Man

Maybe it is the money or maybe it’s his abilities, but Tony had quite the sex life before Pepper. So it would be a fun time in general to have Tony Stark in your bedroom. And he certainly is experienced so he’d know exactly what to do.

6. Scott Lang/Ant-Man

Who wouldn’t want to sleep with Paul Rudd? No like, for real? I know straight men who love Rudd and Scott Lang is basically just an extension of the actor we all love. So like it’d be a dream come true for everyone.

5. T’Challa/Black Panther

Black Panther is a great movie but also it sexually awakened a lot of fans to the beauty that is T’Challa. Sure, we loved him in Civil War. But every – single – scene of Black Panther proved T’Challa can be funny, sweet and oh so sexy. Plus you’d get to be with a king, so win-win all around.

4. Erik Killmonger

Really? I have to explain this? Find me a person who didn’t want to sleep with Michael B. Jordan after Black Panther. Surprise! You can’t find said person. They don’t exist.

3. Sam Wilson/Falcon

More like swooping into your DMs, right? Right? OK, enough of that. Maybe it’s because Anthony Mackie is just so charming but Sam Wilson could just say some dumb remark and most of us would be at his beck and call. He’s charming, he’s funny, and he is really hot so like it wouldn’t be a burden to be in bed with him.

2. Thor

I’d just pet his abs a lot. Natalie Portman knew what was up. Now that Jane is gone, we have an open spot in the “Thor sex life” for whoever is lucky enough to be victim to that hammer.

1. Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

I said this before and I’ll say it again. Bucky Barnes knows how to please a lady. Don’t forget that before he was Hydra’s pet, he was quite the ladies man. Just think about what that arm could do to you in the bedroom. Plus he’s a sensitive boy who has been through a lot so he’d want to make sure the woman he loves was pleased. And those blue eyes would bore into your soul and tell you everything would be okay. Let’s not forget the hair either, friends. Lots to hold onto.

So while our list differs, one thing is sure. These Marvel boys are quite the group to love and we can’t wait to see them in Avengers: Infinity War, out this April 27.

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