10 sassy Disney clapbacks we’re still feeling the heat from
By Andi Ortiz
Disney movies teach kids important lessons in love, life, and family. They also teach how to give a proper verbal beat down.
No Disney movie is complete without a moral. Whether it’s encouraging the audience to dream big, or teaching them to embrace who they truly are, the studio manages to connect with adults and kids alike.
A lot of that connection also comes from the humor in the movies. Over the years, Disney has crafted some stellar one-liners. As characters have gotten fiercer, the jokes have only gotten better– and sassier.
Most of these lines come in the form of clapbacks during an argument. So, while the kids are learning important life lessons, they’re also learning the key to verbal sparring. It’s a win-win. With that, let’s look back on 10 of the best and sassiest comebacks in the Disney universe.
10. Esmeralda
Esmeralda isn’t technically a Disney princess, but she is as fierce and independent as one. Always on the run, she had a particular knack for defending herself. So when Phoebus tried to sneak up on Esmeralda, he wasn’t even a little prepared for what came next.
She was creative, using a candle stand as a weapon. And she used it well. Phoebus even admitted she had skills, albeit in the most condescending way possible. He notes, “You fight almost as well as a man.”
Esmeralda is quick on her feet, but quicker with her words, spitting back “Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you!” Not only was it a biting comeback, but it also showed young girls they can be skilled fighters, too.
9. The Good Fairies
Princess Aurora never had an official Fairy Godmother, but she did have something pretty close. The Good Fairies watched over her through her childhood, sacrificing the use of their magic for 16 years to keep her safe.
16 years without magic can make fairies pretty cranky though. So, when it came time to make Aurora a dress for her birthday, the fairies pulled no punches. Merryweather was quite honest about her feelings on the dress: “It looks awful.”
Never missing a beat, Flora responds “That’s because it’s on you dear.” The ever-present sweetness in her voice makes it all the better. Never insult a fairy’s hard work.
8. Hannah Montana and Mikayla
In the early 2000s, there were three core battles among music fans: Britney vs. Christina, *NSYNC vs. Backstreet Boys, and Hannah Montana vs. Mikayla. It was a tense but wonderful time to be alive.
True, Mikayla was only a fictional pop star, but her hit single “If Cupid Had A Heart” was catchy. Unfortunately, Mikayla had a serious attitude problem. She was always making digs at Hannah Montana. But Hannah always had an equally fatal comeback.
Some of their best banter came when they were both phone operators for a telethon. Hannah’s stealth burn of “Insta-puke” can never be forgotten. This clapback did come in one of Disney’s shows, rather than a movie, but it was just too good to leave out.
7. Mia Thermopolis
Before she was a princess, Mia Thermopolis prided herself on being invisible. The spotlight was just not a place she wanted to be. Unfortunately, that meant she got sat on more than once. Still, she accepted who she was, which made the following words to “popular girl” Lana sting even more.
After making fun of Jeremiah yet again, Mia decided she’d had enough of Lana’s torment. She sent the message loud and clear, shoving her ice cream cone into Lana’s chest (a waste of perfectly good ice cream, but I digress).
Lana responded the only way she knew how: slinging insults. Only this time, Mia had a comeback ready, and it was one of the most empowering moments in the entire movie.
“Yeah, I am a freak,” Mia says. “But you know what? Someday, I just might grow out of that. but you, you will never stop being a jerk.”
Applause, applause, applause.
6. Stitch
Sometimes a simple clapback hits as hard as an elaborate one. So, when Gantu came at Stitch with his classic “Abomination” insult, Stitch had only two words: stupid head. It might be a childish line but remember, Stitch was an alien with a very loose grasp of English.
He was also living with a little girl and her older sister, so “Stupid head” was considered pretty devastating to Stitch. Then he went the extra mile and used a gas truck to launch himself into Gantu’s ship.
The real K.O. came when Stitch used his own confidence against Gantu, reminding him that Stitch is also cute and fluffy.
5. Mike Wazowski
Mike Wazowski is about as sarcastic and witty as they come. I mean, he’s voiced by Billy Crystal.
Crystal’s personality was something Disney leaned on heavily when writing lines for Mike in Monsters, Inc. His one-liners were sharp, well-placed and almost always sassy. But his greatest line was the one he threw at his nemesis, Randall.
There’s nothing more embarrassing than trying to insult someone and making yourself look dumb in the process. Except maybe when the person you’re insulting is the one calling out the mistake.
Mike was used to being overlooked; there was the commercial, then the magazine. One thing he didn’t appreciate was being threatened inadequately. So he called Randall out on mispronouncing “cretin” and destroyed whatever authority Randall had, even with the Scream Extractor.
4. Elizabeth Swann
Once upon a time, someone invented a torture device called a corset. Thankfully, it’s not a common piece of wardrobe these days. It was slimming, but it made breathing extraordinarily difficult, as Elizabeth Swann found out the hard way.
Lack of oxygen can most certainly increase hostility. Toss in a pirate invasion on top of that and it’s no wonder Elizabeth was ready for battle. Conveniently enough she got to make her pain clear, knock out an undead pirate and save her true love from being killed by said pirate, all in one snappy clapback.
To date, Elizabeth’s “Try wearing a corset” is one of the most relatable lines Disney has written.
3. Judy Hopps
Judy Hopps is probably the most determined character Disney has ever created. She broke down barriers every chance she got, even with animals like Nick Wilde and Chief Bogo actively working against her success.
Nick managed to slip an insult into almost every sentence he uttered. Judy took it in stride though, focused on completing her mission. But that doesn’t mean she just let his words go by. In fact, she used the greatest method for handling bullies: use their words to her own advantage.
Judy managed to get Nick to admit to felony tax evasion, threatening him with arrest. It’s called a hustle, sweetheart.
It’s not technically a clapback, but it is an effective shutdown.
2. Annie James
Kids can be cruel, especially when they’re freaked out. So when Hallie Parker suddenly came face to face with her literal twin, right after losing the title of Camp Champion in fencing, she lashed out. (There’s probably some irony in there about how a person can be their own worst bully, since Lohan played both characters. Then again, that’s pretty heavy for a kids movie).
Hallie pointed out every single “flaw” she could find in Annie, just to reestablish some dominance. It’s been 20 years since Disney remade The Parent Trap, but Annie James’s sharp retort is still one of the most quotable movie moments ever.
In short: stay classy.
1. Marie
Of course, no list of Disney clapbacks can be complete without including Marie from The Aristocats. Her clawback (sorry, had to) is both empowering and pretty relevant today: “Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them.”
At first glance, it seems like this would be a response to a sexist comment. But in reality, this was just Marie’s response to her brother Berlioz whining, “She started it!” Thanks to this moment, sisters everywhere found the perfect last words for an argument with their brothers.
Related Story: This Disney/Pixar bracket broke the internet
With a huge slate in the works for Disney, more sassy one-liners are sure to come. And we’ll be taking notes when they do.