Dear Geordie: An open letter to Outlander’s newest character


Sure, the Claire-Jamie reunion was amazing, but they aren’t the only characters who deserve attention. So let’s take a moment and honor Geordie, the indignant print-shop assistant.

“A. Malcolm,” the most recent Outlander, has been making headlines (obviously) thanks to the momentous cold open, Claire and Jamie effectively renewing their wedding vows, and the female gaze-ified sex scenes. But most commentary on this legendary installment of Outlander overlooks the best part of the episode. I’m, of course, talking about Geordie (Lorn Macdonald).

Since no one else is giving the irritable print-shop assistant the recognition he deserves, I’ve taken the initiative and penned a letter to my new favorite character. Enjoy.

"Dear Geordie,What is it about you?You’re such a jerk, but somehow also a hero to all the bullied, disrespected entry-level employees throughout history. While I don’t abide by your intolerance of Catholicism and find your prudishness hilarious (and sort of pathetically adorable?), I have to commend your willingness to let your id fly. You fit more vitriol, resentment, and false feeling of superiority into your approximately 90 seconds of screen time than most characters do in entire arcs. Your impotent rage is paralleled only by Nicole of Broad City.It’s kind of inspiring.You spoke for each and every victim of office inefficiency when you–in your delicious Scottish brogue — shamed Jamie for sending you out for ash just after you arrived at work. “Of course,” you said, your voice dripping with disdain. “Perhaps this evening, before I leave for the day, you might share any chores or errands you care to have done so I can carry them out on my way into the shop. So I’m not retraveling my steps.”You defended yourself against Jamie’s ignorant “riff-raff” buddies without missing a beat, Geordie. Thank you for not being a doormat when they made fun of your goiter. The “it was just a joke” defense felt tired then and still feels tired now. Your feelings remain valid and you shouldn’t be harassed because of a medical condition, even if the harassment is veiled as friendly teasing. I wouldn’t accept “that sort of amity,” either.And, while I question whoever taught you the definition of “orgy,” your shutting down of the workplace PDA between your boss and some rando was just beautiful. Condemning Jamie as “an immoral Papist,” you quit on the spot and told him to do his evil deeds on his own time. “If it’s come to orgies in the shop, it’s come too far,” you understandably concluded — although, again, that word doesn’t mean what you think it means. Attacking Jamie’s religious beliefs isn’t cool, Geordie, but I won’t deny you made your point and made it fast.In summation, your passive aggression, your withering remarks, and your perma-pout were the highlights of last Sunday’s Outlander. I can only hope we’ll be seeing each other again soon.Farewell for now, Geordie. God speed and please return to Outlander next week and every week."

Related Story: Outlander S3E6 recap and review: 'A. Malcolm'

Outlander airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Starz.