Tulip Fever is definitely a sickness no one wants to catch

If you haven’t heard about Tulip Fever, run away now. Don’t catch this sickness. It isn’t worth your time or your money or your effort. Or anything.

Tulip Fever is a movie suddenly everyone started talking about. Why? Well the movie was pushed back so many times and recast that it seemed like it might not ever be made. Which probably would have been for the better.

That’s right folks, you might want to avoid this movie like the plague. Now, to be fair, I think with just a few minor changes, this could have been great. Like maybe getting a sexy man to play the painter who is supposed to be so enticing that Alicia Vikander can’t help but sleep with him.

I don’t know if it’s just me or what but I don’t necessarily think that Dane Dehaan oozes sexuality like that. Maybe if there was that magnetism then the story would have made sense. But instead, we watched a weird unraveling of events that were only held together by the acting.

Alicia Vikander, Holliday Grainger,  and Christoph Waltz really are the only saving graces of it all. And they’re enough to have made me not angry that I spent $15 dollars to see the movie. If they weren’t in it, I would have demanded someone take my credit card away from me so I’d never see another terrible movie again.

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It is just that it doesn’t work. If you fixed a couple of parts, then maybe it would be worth watching. But for all the talk about it and all the news, it was a major let down. It was the fever that you could and should sweat out because it’s one of those movies that will be fun to maybe rent and make fun of with your friends.