10 of the dumbest things Luke Skywalker has ever said or done in a Star Wars film
By Buckie Wells
10. Leaving a map to your secret location
Which Star Wars film it happened in: Episode VII – The Force Awakens
"“Dear Leia, I’m going out of town for a while since your son decided to mess up my sick padawan school with his temper tantrum from hell. Please, take care of R2-D2 while I’m gone. If he gets too noisy, just turn him off with the little switch in the back. Oh, yeah! And if the galaxy falls to pieces and you hear from some little goober named Rey or something, I left a map with our old pal, Lor San Tekka on Jakku. Okay, talk later. Be good. Love, Luke.”"
Important distinctions to make: The map led to Luke’s location at the Jedi Temple. It was a map to the Temple, not to Luke specifically. The map existed in the Empire’s archives, so it’s not something he created to say, “I am here” and mark it with a little X. You know that, I know that, it’s all good.
But that’s not what I was thinking while watching The Force Awakens. I thought of a hundred different things Luke could say on Ahch-To. I envisioned several difference exchanges, usually all along the lines of something like,
"Luke: “What are you doing here? I’m in exile.” Rey: “But you left a map? I followed it.”"
It’s like when you play hide-and-seek with a little kid who lets his feet hang out and giggles the whole time. It’s silly either way to know that he exiled himself knowing that if he could find the temple, someone else was bound to show up. I imagine by the time The Last Jedi finishes, he’ll acknowledge that he was expecting Rey sooner or later.
Actually, it would be even cooler if he went in the other direction and asked what took the Resistance so long to find him because he was running out of food and “the damn birds” were annoying him. Then, Rey has to recap the entirety of TFA, but instead, the movie just rolls the scroll.
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No shade at Mark Hamill or anyone involved with Star Wars. I spent a day going through these because these are the moments that make me laugh the most. Did I miss any of your favorite Luke Skywalker goofs? (Luke goofs? Loofs?) Let us know in the comments below and be sure to stick around Culturess for all your Star Wars updates.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi hits theaters on Dec. 15, 2017.