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Patti plays matchmaker for the Manzo boys – Millionaire Matchmaker

This whole episode is pretty contrived, I’ll admit. But it does have a certain Norman Bates-vibe to it. Anybody whose seen even one episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey or Manzo’d with Children, knows that Caroline is very involved in her children’s lives. So involved, in fact, that it becomes apparent that there is some real dysfunction at play here.

Caroline Manzo decides it’s time for her middle, and schleppiest child, Chris, to find a mate. His older brother is dating someone and his younger sister is engaged, so Caroline feels his time has come. Chris, on the other hand, doesn’t seem all that excited about this process, and can’t even muster the motivation to shave.

True to her smothering style, Caroline hovers, micromanages, and bosses the whole process into submission, much like she’s done her children, Chris included. Chris even tells Patti he won’t date a woman of whom his mother doesn’t approve. When the potential dates find out that the mother is doing the sorting, some are rightfully appalled. I don’t know what your dating experience is like, but having a mother screen your hopefuls signals all the red flags.

Even if one of these girls did find Chris desirable, despite dressing like a 50 year old middle manager, she’d have to resign herself to living at home with Chris, his parents, and all their pets. That would totally be a hard pass for me.