Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Hold Back in 13-Minute Opener


With so much in the way of news to get to practically every day, is it any wonder that Stephen Colbert had to take nearly 13 minutes last night?

Even though Stephen Colbert could probably just play catch up on what happened during last week’s break from The Late Show, he and his writing team apparently know better than that. Fortunately, American political news keeps on coming.

In fact, there happens to be so much news that Colbert had nearly 13 minutes of last night’s show just in his opening monologue.

Check it out below.

It seems prudent to start with the title. “If You’re Watching This, Thermonuclear War Hasn’t Wiped Out Humanity” refers to the current situation with North Korea. Vox, as per usual, has an explainer piece on everything, including what North Korea may be capable of; if you prefer the most recent update instead, here’s the BBC discussing China’s response to all of this.

But even though the situation did take up some of Colbert’s time, it didn’t take up all of it. He did also throw in a rude gesture, dutifully blurred out for everyone watching on a screen instead of while Colbert taped the show. (Well, okay, it was thrown at Russia, but in the context of Russia’s response to the North Korean issue.)

In fact, first, he handled something primarily from last weekend, considering the fact that yesterday was the day for Americans to file their taxes. Tax Marches publicly asked a certain man in the White House to make his tax returns public, and, as you may expect, Sean Spicer then had to handle reporters’ questions during the press briefing. Naturally, Colbert had a funny scenario about aliens invading the earth to illustrate the point, but it’s tough not to read a heavy dose of incredulity in his expression.

Next: Stephen Colbert's Mother of All Jokes

What do you think of this opener? Should he have spent more time on certain subjects?