The Men Of Game of Thrones Call The Mansplaining Hotline
When we heard that men from Game of Thrones called Sweden’s mansplaining hotline, we had to know what they said. Your Culturess has the exclusive details!
This past fall, the Swedish workplace union Unionen hosted a mansplaining hotline to bring attention to this newly named but age-old phenomenon. The hotline was wildly popular. Many women called to thank the hotline for giving a name to their experiences and spreading the word about mansplaining.
More than 60% of the people who called were men. Some men also called to ask how they could do a better job of not mansplaining. But of course, a lot of the men called to tell the hotline why mansplaining is Not a Thing, and how men need be to treated more nicely because they deserve it for being male.
This is probably not a surprise. It is called mansplaining for a reason.
This got me thinking about what the men from Game of Thrones would say if they called the mansplaining hotline. So Culturess put out a request for information on the feminist agenda dark web. An anonymous source responded via the Culturess secure drop box.
We now share with you exclusive recordings of some of the men of Westeros calling the Mansplaining Hotline (I assume long-distance or roaming charges applied).
Image credit: HBO/Helen Sloan
Ned Stark: On my honor, I pledge that no longer shall you be thus maligned. I will protect your honor with my sword, as have all the Stark Lords before me…
Hotline: This is not going to end well.
Podrick Payne (Game of Thrones promotional image via HBO)
Pod: Hi I’m Pod. I just want to say that my boss is a strong woman. You wouldn’t believe what she has to put up with! Um, I guess you would, though, miss. I mean ma’am. I mean…
Hotline: … what was your name?
Pod: Pod. Podrick Payne, ma’am, I mean…
Hotline: Hey do you want to meet me for drinks when I get out of here? Say 7 pm?
Image via HBO.
Jon Snow: Why must men act do dishonorably? I know that I know nothing. Why can’t they do the same? If I had done so to Ygritte she would have had my head as well as my heart! No women under my protection at the Wall, in the field or at Winterfell will be treated such. Please inform me if anyone treats you unjustly. They will pay.
Credit: Helen Sloan/HBO
Tyrion Lannister: A couple of comments. First, this hotline does not apply for me. Perhaps if you started an impsplaining hotline. [laughs] Pardon me for making light. I am, let’s just say, somewhat in my cups. I do admire what you’re doing here. I love a strong woman. To tell the truth I love all women. The treatment most women receive from the rougher sex is, well, rough, but it’s nothing less than I’ve come to expect after living my life as myself. It’s deplorable and undeserved. I apologize on behalf of men. Believe you me, we shall all be better off after … no I should say no more. For your own safety my lady. Farewell.
Image via HBO/Helen Sloan
Ilyn Payne: [heavy breathing]
Hotline: I don’t think you understand what kind of hotline this is.
IP: [clacking sounds] [hangs up]
Sandor Clegane – The Hound (Image via HBO)
Hound: I’ll take three chickens!
Hotline: Sir, this is the mansplaining hotline, not Don Pollos
Hound: &^%$ Wrong number!
Jaime Lannister (Image via HBO)
Jamie Lannister: Yes, mansplaining. I must admit I do enjoy when they try that with my sister. She’s so beautiful when she eviscerates them with barbed remarks.
Gregor Clegane – The Mountain (Image via HBO)
The Mountain: [REDACTED: TRIGGER WARNING]
David-Bradley-Walder-Frey-Game-of-Thrones (Image via HBO)
Walder Frey: Young lady, you obviously have too much time on your hands, and your father has given you too much freedom for your own good! I will marry you to one of my bastard grandsons and he will keep you too pregnant for this nonsense.
Credit: Helen Sloan/HBO
Tywin Lannister: Cease this nonsense this instant. Cersei, return to Lannisport as I commanded! You will stop spreading these ridiculous notions, marry, and bear new heirs for my line!
Cersei: Not a chance, dad. [hangs up]
Next: 10 Places to Buy Game of Thrones Jewelry Holiday Gifts
Who would you like to see call the hotline? Sound off in the comments!