Hillary Clinton, Defender of Bunnies

In his latest book, conservative journalist Edward Klein recounts the time when Hillary Clinton punched a boy in the nose for failing to defend bunnies.

Just when you thought the media’s dumb war on Hillary couldn’t get any dumber! In his latest book, conservative journalist Edward Klein has a brand new charge of why no one should vote for Clinton. He recounts the time when a grammar-school-aged Hillary punched a boy in the nose. My gods! Why? She slugged him because he failed to guard a “warren of baby rabbits” from other boys.

Yes, you read that right. Eight year old Hillary Clinton, defender of bunnies.

On Breitbart, Klein presents this as evidence to support the contention that she’s “violent and unstable.” This is an episode from his book, GUILTY AS SIN, which he is trying to sell because convincing like-minded deplorables that Hillary is **GUILTY AS SIN** is the only way he can sustain his sorry little career.

(Photo by Melina Mara/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

This says so much about the core of her character, but completely not in the way the Breitbart writer thinks. I mean, don’t YOU want a president who protects the innocent, all the innocent, even bunny rabbits? (One gets the sense if she had gone to Hogwarts, Clinton would have been a proud, badge wearing member of S.P.E.W.)

This latest from nutbar wrapper Breitbart may be the most ridiculous example of that I have seen. Not the worst, just the most ridiculous. If Clinton is the defender of small fuzzy animals, what does that make her opponent? The evil creep who will murder all the cute, fuzzy animals, in an over the top Disney evil villian way to make fur coats for himself to wear? (Well, actually, now that you mention it….)

I imagine it went like this:

Little Boy 1: Look, bunnies! We should drown them!

Little Boy 2: I want to pull their tails!

Little Boy 3: I want to squash them to see what their guts look like!

Onlooking 1950s parent 1: Oh boys will be boys!

Onlooking 1950s parent 2: Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails!

Onlooking 1950s parent 1: Let’s trade keys.

Little Boy 1: Hey, where did you come from, Hillary?

Little Boy 2: I bet she was talking to poor kids again.

Hillary: Please don’t hurt the bunnies.

Onlooking 1950s parent 1: Girls! So sensitive!

Onlooking 1950s parent 2: Hahahahaha! I need more martini.

Little Boy 2: Go away Hillary, we found them first!

Hillary: [Roars] GET AWAY FROM THE BUNNIES!!!!

[All the boys scatter except Jim.]

Hillary: I need to deliver sandwiches to orphans with my Girl Scout Troop. Jim, can you guard the bunnies while I’m gone? Please? I always thought you were nice.

Jim: Um, sure. I guess.

[Hillary leaves. The other little boys come back]

Little boy 1: Hey Jim, give us a bunny.

Little boy 2: Yeah or we’ll punch you.

Jim: Um, sure. I guess.

Hillary: Hey Jim I forgot my sash…WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Jim: They just, I… um only gave them one.

Hillary: WHAT?

Jim: … each.

Hillary: Nooooooooooooo!!! [solid right hook to Jim’s nose] GET AWAY FROM THOSE BUNNIES!

[Everyone runs, bunnies, martinis and keys flying everywhere.]

Hillary: Hi bunnies! You are safe now!

Bunnies: We will serve you forever Hillary.

Hillary Clinton, Defender of Bunnies, 2016.