Fans of actor Michelle Trachtenberg were devastated by the recent news of her sudden passing. And they had a right to be. Not only was the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Gossip Girl star a pivotal figure for budding millennials everywhere, but she was also only 39 years old. She was loved by many, and will continue to be missed dearly.
Despite playing iconic roles for kids and teens alike (and let's be honest, we still love these roles and more as adults), Trachtenberg became the subject of a lot of social media conversation over the past few years. Out of "concern," many of her followers started commenting on her appearance nonstop -- and understandably, she didn't take kindly to that.
"Check yourself haters," she wrote in a 2024 Instagram post in response to all the comments about her looks. "I am happy and healthy."
Since the news of her death began circulating, her fans learned that the actor had undergone a liver transplant, which can have a lot of effects on the body inside and out. Even now, many of her followers seem to think they were owed an explanation or are claiming that it wasn't hate -- they just "cared."
If you really cared about a celebrity, you wouldn't make public assumptions about their appearance or demand they explain the way they look. Celebrities are on a different wavelength than the rest of us, but they're still human beings. They didn't ask to have every image of them endlessly scrutinized. And just because you're their fan doesn't mean you have the right to know every detail about their personal lives.
Parasocial relationships -- when you think you have a close relationship to a stranger you don't actually know -- aren't just invasive. They can, and have, become extremely dangerous, even life-threatening. Michelle Trachtenberg was a phenomenal actress and widely beloved, but she was not your friend. You didn't know what she may have really been going through because the two of you were not friends.
While the many tributes to the actor are touching, I wish more people would have sent that volume of love her way instead of pretending to care just to hear a little gossip about a celebrity. She's not going to see any of these tributes, and those off-putting comments will likely remain on her social media posts forever. That hurts almost as much as losing her, and I hope some of you will think about that the next time you go to leave an unnecessary comment on a celebrity's photo.