The Crown: Season 5, Part 1: All style and little substance

The highly-anticipated new season of The Crown feels like a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift that’s opened to reveal nothing but packing peanuts. In other words: another round of gorgeous aerials and impeccably recreated scenery and costuming doesn’t necessarily equate to a fulfilling viewing experience.

Full disclosure: I intended on reviewing the season in its entirety, and there’s always a chance that the second half makes up for a plodding, slow-moving first half. Unfortunately, Netflix only provided me with the first five episodes, so I’m working with what I’ve got. And I’m sad to report that what I got… isn’t much.

Mild spoilers ahead…

Episode one kicks off with a brief cameo from Claire Foy; the woman who made earlier seasons of The Crown so enthralling. It’s 1953, and she’s giving a televised address introducing her new pride and joy: a royal yacht named The Britannia. Fast forward to the early 1990s and we’re transported to a swanky soiree in Scotland, where Queen Elizabeth II (played this season by Imelda Staunton, a.k.a. the icy Professor Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter films) pulls aside Prime Minister John Major (Johnny Lee Miller) to discuss refurbishing her pricey boat.

The Prime Minister is understandably reluctant and warns the Queen that spending millions of pounds on a veritable floating palace while the country is in dire financial straits may not send a great message to her constituents. Defeated, the Prime Minister retreats to his room and calls his wife – lamenting about how out-of-touch the elder royals are. And the young ones? Well, he says, they’re really not much better.

Of course, having people in power who are frustratingly detached from the struggles of the common man is a tale as old as time. And sure, seeing the Queen wax poetic about the importance of large boat maintenance is amusing, in an eye-rolling sort of way. From there the story takes a hard pivot, with a plotline so meandering and disjointed that it can only be compared to, well, a sinking ship (or a royal yacht, as it were.)

The casting choices are odd, to say the least – most notably Dominic West, whose handsome, charming Prince Charles feels almost parodic. Josh O’Connor’s take on Charles in seasons 3 and 4 felt more authentic, and not just physically. He managed to capture the real royal’s bumbling aloofness in a way that wasn’t mean, but rather quite sympathetic. It’s difficult to compare the two performances, truthfully, because it’s almost as if they are playing two different people.

There is a bright spot in this otherwise dull season of The Crown, and her name is Elizabeth Debicki. Having Debicki’s Diana be the only endearing aspect of the show is actually quite poetic, however unintentionally, considering the well-documented way the real Diana’s effervescence outshone the family at the time. There have been a host of faux-Dianas on the big and small screen throughout the years (I was a huge fan of Kristen Stewart’s understated performance in 2021’s Spencer) but Debicki lands that certain je ne sais quoi that many other actresses have merely managed to circle. If you’re watching through a Diana-centric lens, you may be able to justify sitting through hours of monotonous monologues to get to the good stuff.

The cast and creators have been pretty open about The Crown being a work of fiction, so I’m not sure why forgoing historical accuracy for something a little less tedious and slow was so out of the question. At this point, paying attention to the current drama happening with the actual Royal Family in 2022 is more entertaining than the show itself. And you don’t even have to pay for a Netflix subscription to see it.