Cats isn’t going to win an Oscar, in case you were wondering

Universal Pictures pulls the plug on its awards season campaign for Cats, all but sealing the film’s fate as a wild, memorable flop.

Here’s some shocking news: Cats isn’t going to win any Academy Awards this year. Not on purpose anyway.

Now, some of us might be assuming that’s because the Tom Hooper’s adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s long-running musical is an eye-burning nightmare, complete with terrifying images of such iconic performers as Judi Dench and Ian McKellen covered in “digital fur” and Taylor Swift getting everyone high on glittery catnip.

And while that certainly might be true, the official line is that it’s because Universal Pictures is pulling the plug on its Oscar campaign, and removing the film from its promotional list of pictures to be considered come awards time.

This is basically as public an admission of defeat – and vague shame – as you could ever imagine.

Even the power of Tswizzle couldn’t muscle up a nomination for Best Original Song – the film’s one new offering that wasn’t featured in the musical, a song called “Beautiful Ghosts,” wasn’t shortlisted for the Academy Awards. (It did garner a Golden Globe nomination, but well. Insert your own joke about how the Globes will nominate anything here.)

It may seem crazy now, but prior to its release, Cats was considered a serious awards contender. After all, its pedigree is fairly flawless – Hooper is an award-winning director (remember, this is the guy that made The King’s Speech!) and that cast is a murderer’s row of talent. Plus, the original musical the film’s based on is positively beloved around the world.  How could this not be great?

(Narrator Voice: It was not, in fact, great.)

Instead, Cats opened to almost universally awful reviews and a dismal opening weekend box office of just $6.5 million. It made slightly over $15 million during its first six days of release, which, when a film costs over $100 million to make is pretty much as big of a bust as you can imagine.

For comparison, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker made $175.5 million in its first three days alone.

Why anyone thought this visual hodgepodge of famous actors in horrifying digital make-up singing songs about animals competing to go to the equivalent of cat heaven was going to be fun holiday fare for the whole family is…unclear. But suffice it to say, it was not.

Me-ouch, indeed.

At least Cats will always have the Razzies? The awards – which honor the worst in cinema, and have rewarded such bombs as Gigli, Glitter and Showgirls –  are already encouraging fans to “get in the litter box” and see the film.

So, you know, maybe the film’s award season chances aren’t totally shot.

Did you see Cats? Do you think it deserves all the negative reviews?