Riverdale season 4 episode 2 review: Fast times at Riverdale High

This week’s episode of Riverdale, “Fast Times at Riverdale High,” found the gang going back to basics and starting their senior year.

After last week’s heartbreaking tribute to Fred Andrews, everyone is ready for a bit more of a lighthearted, classic Riverdale episode. So let’s dive in, shall we?

After two seasons of the Black Hood and Gryphons and Gargoyles, it’s a breath of fresh air to get back to the characters we know and love. We kick things off with the start of senior year and a somewhat healed Archie Andrews. (Who is, of course, sweaty and shirtless not even two minutes in.)

Our core four gather at Veronica’s to wax eloquent about the last night before their senior year…and then *wiggles eyebrows*–separately, of course. (Riverdale hasn’t gone Eyes Wide Shut quite yet.) But, of course, they oversleep and are late on their last first day of school only to be greeted by a new face, Mr. Honey (Kerr Smith), Principal Weatherbee’s replacement. (Seriously. I can’t with Riverdale’s names.)

In another amazing piece of casting, Smith (Dawson’s Creek) sets the tone with, “Get out of my sight,” promising a new dawn at Riverdale High.

Over at The Blue and Gold, Kevin shows up to ask Betty for a spot on the paper. Betty responds with a withering stare. Kevin tells Betty he’s been doing a lot of work on himself and apologizes for his actions while he was at The Farm.

“Oh, you mean dragging me by my ankles to get a lobotomy?” she says. It’s a tough scene and I’m not sure if she’s too harsh on Kevin, an ex-cult member who, as a character, has never gotten a fair shake.

While Kevin fills out his newspaper application (the levels of petty!), Jughead is called to the office, and for the first time in school history, it’s not about the Serpents.

Mr. Chipping (Sam Witwer) tells Jughead he read his short story entry for a contest and was so impressed, he wants him to study writing with him at Stonewall Prep. Ever principled and Marxist, Jughead gives him a firm “thanks, but no thanks” and goes back to class.

Sidebar:  if this show keeps throwing Mr. Honey and Mr. Chipping together, we’re going to have the Hot Teachers of Riverdale competing with the Hot Dads of Riverdale next!

While we’re on the subject, Mr. Honey has a busy first day back. After Veronica pulls the fire alarm to disperse the invading paparazzi in the school, Cheryl and Toni bring a bread basket to his office to welcome him, only so he can let them know that the back-to-school dance is canceled. (For no discernible reason other than he is cartoonishly evil?)

After another rap session with Jason, and Toni nearly discovering her, Cheryl decides they will simply host a party at Thistlehouse. So yeah. Cheryl is still talking to dead people–literally.

After pulling Mad Dog onto the field, he and Archie have insane chemistry at football practice while Reggie gets sidelined, only to be yelled at by his abusive dad who watches from the parking lot.

This, of course, leads to a return of the Old Reggie in the locker room taunting Mad Dog about his stay in juvie, forcing Archie to tell him to “man up.”

That night at the Cooper-turned-Jones house, Mr. Chipping is serious about Jughead. Not even 24 hours and he’s already making a home visit to FP. Mr. Chipping and FP finally convince Jug to take a tour of this new school before he makes up his mind.

After a conversation with Charles, Betty decides to try to use Kevin to her advantage in the case. Rekindling their friendship over phosphates at Pop’s, Betty tells Kevin the good news that a witness has come forward to testify against The Farm.

Playing right into Betty’s manipulative hands, Kevin runs to meet Fangs to tell him. As soon as Fangs leaves, Betty shines a flashlight on Kevin. “You’re so messed up.”

Betty hauls him back to the Riverdale FBI headquarters (???), where she and Charles sit across from him like it’s an interrogation. A distraught Kevin maintains he’s done with The Farm and really did want to be friends with Betty again, but Fangs was all he had left after Betty (rightfully) ignored him all summer.

After dealing with the press all day, including a story leaking that she was the one who truly perpetrated the crimes her father committed, Veronica confronts a sunglasses-wearing Reggie and asks him if he’s the source in the tabloids, and that’s why he’s hiding behind the shades.

Reggie maintains he said nothing, removing the glasses to reveal a huge black eye. Later, Veronica tells Archie that she knows Reggie’s dad hits him.

The next day at practice, Reggie’s dad yells at him on the field and Archie tries to back him up. But as those who know anything about domestic violence will understand, Reggie comes to his dad’s defense rather than thank Archie.

It’s a tense moment and due to the fact that it’s happening on school grounds, it makes me wonder why the school doesn’t intervene. But then there aren’t a lot of authorities present in Riverdale.

Aside from Mr. Chipping, who’s invited Jughead to a salon to discuss Moby Dick. It is pretty precious to see the quirk of a smile on Jug’s cheek as he realizes he can finally be the smartest one in the room and be appreciated for it.

At Cheryl’s back-to-school party, everything is going swimmingly, despite another near discovery of Jason’s body by Reggie. (How is the house not reeking by now? And shouldn’t flies be swarming or something? Ugh.)

Betty even decides to tell Kevin the truth about Alice working for the FBI, hoping she can help locate The Farm since she missed her last check-in. But then FP shows up with a report that someone named Honey called in with a noise complaint, cementing the new principal as Cheryl’s enemy number one.

Archie takes a drunk Reggie home and confronts him about his dad. In a sweet scene brimming with bromance, Reggie tells Archie how jealous he had always been of his and Fred’s relationship. Asking what he can do, Reggie says, “It’s time for me to take a stand.” And in a scene straight out of Ferris Bueller, Reggie smashes in his dad’s red sports car with a baseball bat, saying, “Sometimes, I think he loves this car more than me.”

The next day at school, Betty can’t stand watching Jughead be bored in English class anymore and sends him off to Stonewall Prep with a farewell kiss.

At home, Veronica can’t leave her apartment for all the paparazzi, thanks to her father leaking the story about her from prison.

In the most Veronica Lodge play, she finally agrees to speak to the press that night after a special performance of “All That Jazz” at La Bonne Nuit and tells them the story is true, but she was a victim of her father’s.

Back at the Riverdale FBI, Just as Betty tells Charles that she told Kevin the truth about Alice, Kev pulls through with intel on The Farm, telling them that Edgar is armed to the teeth. And next week’s episode looks to bring this ominous news to fruition.

We close with Jughead modeling his new prep school uniform for FP and Jellybean, asking if he looks like a jerk. FP tells him it’s in his blood as his grandfather went there for a few months before dropping out, and that it’ll be a great year.

Flash forward to Spring Break, the same timeline we saw in the season three finale, and a massive manhunt for Jughead is underway. The question is:  is he the victim, or the killer?

New episodes of Riverdale air Wednesdays on The CW.