Here’s what I’ve learned after using five different dating apps

Dating apps are a great example of modern-day dating. Are they actually worth the hype or is asking someone out in person the way to go?

When we think of modern-day relationships, dating apps are one of the first things that come to mind. Millions of people across the globe have downloaded these apps and use them every day, meeting new people and eventually going on dates.

Admittedly, I was (and still am) a dating app user. However, after three years of being an active user, I can say that I have a love-hate relationship with these apps. While we can quickly connect with people from the comfort of our own home, it goes against my ideal dream of having a “meet-cute” moment with my future significant other.

For me, the whole thing seems almost too easy. I’d much prefer meeting someone in person, falling in love, etc. Not only that, sometimes I feel as though these apps can have a negative impact on self-confidence. So why do I bother using these apps in the first place?

A little about me: I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone before. I’ve gone on dates, but the title of someone’s “girlfriend” has never been a part of my identity. The first app I ever tried was Tinder. At the time, I was studying abroad in London for a semester in college and my friends encouraged me to try it out so I could meet a “nice British boy.”

I stressed out over what to put in my bio that would capture a guy’s attention enough for him to take an interest in me. Choosing a limited number of photos was also nerve-wracking because I wanted to be sure to capture the best snapshots of myself that I was happy with and felt beautiful in.

A short time after getting the app, I started matching with guys who (to my surprise) messaged me first. Squashing my intent to follow up with “Alright, who paid you?” I continued the conversations and ended up meeting one of them in person.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out with him. I wanted a relationship and he just wanted to find friends on the app. It was then that I realized that people had different reasons for downloading these apps. Communicating my intentions became another part of the whole dating app cycle, which only added to the stress.

Once I moved back home, I tried other platforms like OkCupid, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Hinge. I ended up getting unsuccessful results with each and became disappointed that I didn’t have similar interactions to when I was abroad.

I deleted apps, re-downloaded them, and deleted them again. I was frustrated with the lack of progress, but was still curious to see who was out there and wanted to get a small confidence boost with each mutual match.

I would question whether or not it was me that was the problem. I saw my other friends successfully meet up with people and wonder why I’d only met up with a total of two guys in person from these apps, both of which didn’t end up anywhere. When I’d get a notification saying that someone liked me back, I’d scrap the idea of not being good enough and wonder why I thought such a silly idea in the first place, starting the vicious cycle over again.

Overall, I’ve learned that on the one hand, dating apps can be a fun and exciting way to boost your confidence, go on dates, and meet new people.

On the other hand, however, they can be disappointing for someone like me who has never been in a relationship.

Everyone has different experiences on these dating platforms and they truly aren’t for everyone, but there have been successful pairings. So are dating apps worth it? Well, it depends on the person.

But in the end, nothing beats a rom-com “meet-cute” moment.

If you’re actively looking for a relationship, I wish you all the best! Things might get tough or stressful, but they aren’t always hard. I encourage you to put yourself out there and challenge yourself in whatever way you can.