Riverdale review: The best of the midseason return

Riverdale is back with its midseason return, and they are planting seeds for big things. Here are the five biggest moments this season must follow up on.

Riverdale’s midseason return delivered a major bang (sort of). But mostly, it just set us up for some big fun in the coming episodes. This Riverdale review will run down the top five biggest moments of the return that will surely lead to some juicy happenings later on.

Archie dies?

Archie’s walkabout continues as he roams the Canadian Hinterlands, hunkering down in a remote cabin in the woods (if you’ll pardon the allusion). Of course, he gets attacked by a bear (even after being warned) and his fool-proof method of triage and first aid includes dousing the wounds with booze and laying down. He can’t even get mauled right.

While he’s lying there, looking mighty pale, he has a fever dream, packed to the gills with symbols and metaphors. Riverdale is so ham-fisted sometimes, you just have to laugh. In the final moments of his dream, he actually takes a baseball bat to a sleeping dream-version of himself, and its equal parts hokey and endearing.

When it’s finally over, after he bashes metaphor-Archie, the camera cuts to real Archie, blue, slack-jawed, and blank eyes staring at the ceiling. Is Archie dead? Of course not, but this leaves the door wide open for what might happen following a near-death experience.

Veronica and Reggie kiss

We saw this coming a mile away, and it’s not because Reggie looks so dapper in that tartan suit. Veronica is killing it in the speakeasy game now that she serves actual liquor. Reggie has become her boy Friday, and even runs the booze through the backwoods and across the border, Prohibition-style.

The two cut quite the figure, and it seems like their lifestyles are really lining up. I don’t think Archie’s Patagonia and flannel would go with her diamonds and couture. So… they kiss, and it’s a pretty big sign that Archie is in Ronnie’s rearview … except maybe not once he comes back from the dead.

Cheryl and Toni are the bling ring

I’ve been wishing for more Choni all season, and they finally deliver in a silly plot-adjacent offering as this. The two are traipsing around Riverdale, wearing cat masks, which are a little too on the nose (literally and figuratively) to be good camp. They steal from the rich and then roll around on top of their loot – loose change and all.

Cheryl, bold as ever, left a little red-lipped souvenir when she hit the Lodge house, and this causes a ripple of effects that makes me think Riverdale is turning into a mob drama. Here’s the straightest rundown: Cheryl stole from Hiram, Hiram takes a break from shaking Veronica down to ask her to get it back, Veronica goes to Jughead, King of the Serpents, and then Jughead tosses Cheryl and Toni, excommunicating the two from the gang altogether. He does so at his own peril, because I think the Choni team would be invaluable at the Serpents new gig of protecting Veronica from her father.

Betty loses her disciples to the Farm

Betty’s stint as Gryphon Queen didn’t last very long. Her first mistake was bringing all those lost souls to her very own house. She didn’t really have the means to take care of them, and they were an immediate annoyance to Alice.

Thanks to a little campaign from the Farm representative, they went pretty willingly after one of the former inmates claims he saw the Gargoyle King in the woods. But, he was back on the Fizzle Rocks, so his account is a little fuzzy.

The show has been building a slow burn with this Farm mess, and it’s about time some things come to the surface. If I know Betty Cooper, things will start to reveal themselves pretty quickly. With her on the case, and innocent souls to save, she’s bound to get to the bottom of it.

There’s a lot of potential for the remainder of the season if Riverdale can just stay on task. I’d love to hear your wants, wishes, and “No way in hells,” so just tweet me.