Riverdale review: Archie puts the man in Manhunter

Riverdale finally freed Archie from juvie, but his release is immediately upstaged by a gang of Gargoyles and Betty’s trip to the asylum.

We all knew it wouldn’t last long, but Archie is finally out of prison, thanks to his band of teenage crusaders. You know it’s a successful episode of Riverdale when Archie reuniting with the rest of the gang is, like, the fifth most exciting moment of the night.

“Chapter Forty-One: Manhunter” was packed with narrative purpose, but it’s an exciting time to be a Riverhead. Here are the absolute best and most Riverdale-y moments of the episode.

The Gargoyle King visits the Coopers

Betty Cooper has been a thorn in the side of Riverdale’s bad guys for three whole seasons now. It’s pretty typical that the villain is going to seek her out, at this point. But none of our previous baddies have the flair that the Gargoyle King has.

Not only does the GK bang on their front door and then disappear, but he also stages a Halloween-esque tableau in Betty’s bed. Guess this wasn’t a job for his gang of Gargoygolytes, because he wanted it done right. Nice touch.

FP is there and the day is mostly saved, if not just postponed, but it’s enough to spook Alice into extreme measures. Which leads us to the next most bananas thing that happened:

Betty Goes to the insane asylum

Maybe it’s just a rite of passage for the Cooper/Blossom clan to do a stint in the Sisters of Quiet Mercy “Hospital,” but it took me quite by surprise. I have to hand it to Riverdale for sneaking this in on me. Alice doesn’t feel safe, for obvious reasons, and she’s heading to the farm. But to sick the men with white coats on an unsuspecting Betty left me gobsmacked. I guess Alice still has villain potential, after all.

Betty, drugged, subdued, and without her ponytail, shuffles around the halls of the asylum while a scary nun assures her she’ll be safe. As Betty sits down to paint with her other captives, she notices that every girl is painting a version of the Gargoyle King. Is Betty hallucinating or does this Gargoyle conspiracy really go as deep as Jughead believes? Stay tuned.

Veronica and Hiram continue to be cartoon enemies

We’ve already established that Hiram always looks like he should be twirling his mustache, standing beside a train track with a screaming damsel tied to it. But Veronica is really playing into the silly villain trope, as well. She thinks nothing of telling her father, who is a grown man and very, very, scary, all about her plans to thwart his evil-doings. She literally tells him ev-er-y-thing.

Apparently, Veronica has never seen one episode of Scooby Doo or she would keep her thwarting a little closer to the vest. For instance, how about don’t take the boxes and boxes of evidence back to your house, when you have a perfectly fine speakeasy at your disposal!

Archie and Jughead ride the rails

Oh, Riverdale. Never change. This is going to be the Stand By Me I need in my life right now, and I would be far more excited about a Jughead/Archie hobo adventure if I knew it would last longer than two episodes.

Often, Riverdale can lose it’s footing when it tries to offer the characters stories outside the group dynamic, but I’ve got high hopes for this. We need Jughead and Archie to reconnect, to remind us why these two are the pull of the show. A little walkabout might be just what we need to get us back on board with these two. It’s been so long since they’ve done anything, together, plot-wise, we need a refresher about why we care about this friendship.

In order to get to the bromance I’m hungry for, we have to suffer through a painfully wooden goodbye call between Archie and Veronica. These two should just stick to what they do best and take their shirts off. I like it better when V is saying things like “there are wanted posters with your strong jawline all over town.” Yet I can barely keep my cookies down when she whimpers lines like, “Don’t make me say goodbye to you, Archie Andrews,” declaring they are “endgame.” Blech.

Penelope Blossom proves herself very, very scary

Riverdale is wasting their talents by not giving the Blossom crew enough to do — Cheryl only had one line in the episode. (BOOOO!!)

When Betty assembles the parents together to try and get some answers, Penelope is so cool, butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Hiram shuts Betty down like the teenager she actually is, but Penelope glides right in to offer a most convenient, although undoubtedly false, explanation about that night, long ago, when the Midnight Club was first formed.

She tells Betty that Daryl Doyle (Dilton’s dad, duh) was the culprit all those many years ago, and he was responsible for the poisoned chalices. She spun a tale of unrequited love and suicide, and all I want is to watch her keep talking. Of course, it’s all lies and Detective Betty is on the case, but Penelope is the real dark horse here. She’s making money moves that Betty hasn’t even seen yet.

Don’t sleep on anyone who grows poisonous plants in their greenhouse.

The symbol means sacrifice

This ubiquitous symbol that’s come to define this storyline has an actual meaning, and Joaquin is the messenger. Since being forced to become the Warden’s lackey, he learned that it means “sacrifice” and that Archie was marked long before he ever set foot in Leopold and Lobe.

Joaquin has to pay for his loose lips, and winds up dead in tent city — also, why is there a tent city? It’s a message to Jughead and the rest of the Serpents to stand down, but the jokes on whoever sent it. Jughead decidedly does not know how to stand down.

It takes this death to wake Jug up, and realize that Riverdale is no place for Archie and his complete ineptitude. Since Archie is also marked with the symbol, it is bound to spell bad news, and the two get out of town.

For all intents and purposes, this was a mostly successful Riverdale. However, I measure success in the amount of times I shake my head and whisper, “What the hell am I watching.” So, my system could be flawed.

Join me here every week as I run down the major happenings in all things Riverdale. In the meantime, tweet me (@SundiSRose) your thoughts, theories, hopes and dreams for Riverdale season 3.