The best things we learned from Cardi B’s downright majestic GQ profile


GQ dares us not to fall in love with the quirky and deliciously honest “Bodak Yellow” rapper Cardi B.

Of all the questions GQ pondered in their profile of rapper Cardi B, it was the one left unsaid that resonated most. Namely, how could you not fall in love with a gal who fangirls for Roosevelt and the New Deal while munching on ribs and coating her Swarovski manicure with barbecue sauce?

One quote at a time, writer Caity Weaver reveals that when it comes to the “Bodak Yellow” star, resistance is futile. The article exhibits an adorably anxious, asthmatic pop star who bristles at criticism and compliments alike. Deliciously honest, the self-proclaimed political science nerd revealed there is no money in gangs, wondered why Trump can’t calculate on gun control, and how she feared fiancée Offset of Migos would make her look like a “dumb***” by cheating.

Here are just a few more revelations that will forever endear the Bronx-rapper to our heart.

Fame has deprived America of its most charismatic presidential historian.

Weaver’s profile opens with one of the most adorably dorky bombshells this side of 8th-grade history.

“I love political science… I love government. I’m obsessed with presidents. I’m obsessed to know how the system works,” Cardi confesses.

But among her encyclopedic knowledge of past presidents, one man has her heart like no other — polio-afflicted depression and wartime President Franklin Delano Roosevelt:

"He helped us get over the Depression, all while he was in a wheelchair. Like, this man was suffering from polio at the time of his presidency, and yet all he was worried about was trying to make America great — make America great again for real. He’s the real ‘Make America Great Again,’ because if it wasn’t for him, old people wouldn’t even get Social Security."

We can only hope that in some faraway parallel universe, there is a Cardi B thoughtfully narrating a successful History channel docuseries on America’s greatest presidents. Perhaps we can at least get her on Drunk History?

…Or at least she would if she weren’t so self-conscious about her New Yawk accent (and compliments).

Raised in the Bronx by a Trinidadian mother and Dominican father, the rapper developed a unique, multicultural cadence that fans adore. And she absolutely hates it, recording every single track from her debut album Invasion of Privacy at least five times to enunciate her way out of that New Yawk accent that drives her crazy.

Don’t try arguing with her about it. Cardi revealed that she bristles at compliments as much as criticism. “Just leave me alone and be happy,” she told GQ, unintentionally providing millennials everywhere with words to live by.

She was not happy to meet Beyonce and panicked at the idea of running into Taylor Swift.

Like so many of us, when Cardi met her hero, she fangirled with paralyzing anxiety.

“I wanted to shit on myself,” she said told GQ about meeting Beyoncé. During the course of the interview, the Bronx-native thought she spotted Taylor Swift walk into the restaurants (remember “Bodak Yellow” unseated “Look What You Made Me Do” from the top of the charts). This set off another mysterious panic for the surprisingly shy star.

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With a critically-acclaimed album now under her belt, it seems Cardi is doomed to endure panic-filled celebrity run-ins and constant compliments for the foreseeable future.