Saying goodbye to Twelve: Ranking the Peter Capaldi era of Doctor Who

“Kill the Moon”

“Kill the Moon” is not only the worst episode of the Peter Capaldi era, it’s one of the worst in all of modern day Doctor Who. Yes, it really is that awful. Seriously.

Doctor Who is a show that regularly asks us to believe some ridiculous things. Crazy two-hearted alien who runs around space in a police box? That’s totally fine. Enemies shaped like angry pepper pots with whisks and plungers for arms? Cool. But even I have to draw the line at the idea that the moon is an egg that hatches an alien life form that immediately lays another egg and disappears and also pretty much no one notices. I mean. What? That doesn’t even make sense?

There’s an interesting plot somewhere in here about the idea of the Doctor meddling too much in humanity’s future, and whether he has the right to interfere in the human race’s potentially cataclysmic choices even when he thinks he knows the right answer. (He’s been to futures where the moon exists, after all.) Not that this particular conundrum ever really stopped the Doctor before. But it’s a worthwhile question to ponder. Or, at least, it should be.

That isn’t the question this episode tackles, however. Instead, it spirals down into a story that generally defies physics and makes the Doctor look like a huge jerk who abandons his best friend in her hour of greatest need. The whole thing also kind of works as a really awkward and heavy-handed abortion debate metaphor, which is honestly something I will never need from this show. (And which, quite honestly, it is hopelessly unequipped to handle well.) Ugh. Just a mess all around.