Shame on the Riverdale midseason finale for not giving us the wrap-up we deserve

Riverdale delivers some pretty solid holiday intrigue, but ultimately falls flat with the big reveal, and I’m pretty bummed about it.

[MAJOR, MAJOR spoilers for Riverdale “Chapter Twenty-Two: Silent Night, Deadly Night.” Don’t be mad or @ me, I warned you.]

It’s a real bummer that the best part of the Black Hood’s reveal episode is the gang violence. Riverdale let me down this week with its holiday, midseason finale. However, we got a lot of FP being super angry and dreamy, and Jughead being super agro with his newfound Serpent swagger, so I’m not terribly angry.  I think we deserve a little more from the resolution to this season-long mystery.

“Chapter Twenty-Two: Silent Night, Deadly Night” could have been the biggest episode of the season, but it didn’t follow through.

Instead, it gives us the most anemic and anti-climactic resolutions to the problems we’ve been invested in for nine eps. Shame on you, Riverdale.

The Black Hood’s reveal was lackluster. In fact, I actually wrote the words, “what a f—ing let down,” in my notes. Really, Riverdale? It’s the creepy janitor? What is this? An episode of Scooby Doo? Boo.

The show spent a bulk of the last two episodes convincing us that the town serial killer, was not, in fact, the weird janitor. But now suddenly, it is? It’s lazy. I’ll concede the possibility of this being yet another diversion, but if this is the resolution to the Black Hood storyline, then it’s weak. All the interesting work they’ve done to build mystery and intrigue over the season was completely undone in the back half of an episode that could have been about 20 minutes shorter. Archie didn’t even get the green eyes thing right.  I’m shook.

The midseason finale spent more time focusing on the bratty children of awful parents and not enough time giving us the closure we needed. They planted a few interesting seeds with the scene at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, and Nana Rose, but just couldn’t find the follow through. I was left thinking, “what’s the point, here?”

Perhaps they spent their writers’ budget on cooking up all the very disturbing visual images — the finger in the box, the Black Hood as Santa and Jughead’s torture of Penny Peabody — to give us a proper end to the whodunnit, but it just didn’t land the way it should.

Speaking of Penny Peabody, we need to talk about Jughead’s brand new status as resident badass and gang leader. I’ve always been a fan of Jughead and his broody melancholy, but I’m downright delighted that they are telegraphing that into an angrier, more proactive Jughead. Whether or not kidnapping Penny and mutilating her is a thing that will stick remains to be seen.  But I like where we’re headed. Usurping FP as the top Serpent is a bold move, and will ultimately lead to a emotionally fertile ground for the series.

This story line is, by far, the most interesting of the night, but it’s not without its problems, either. For one, if Penny is so easily disposed of that a band of teenage hooligans can handle it, then why was FP so “trapped”? Seems like he could have easily enlisted some actual Serpents to kidnap her, ferry her to Greendale, and slice that tattoo right off her arm. Why did he need his once reluctant son to do the heavy lifting? It doesn’t track. And, to add insult to injury, most of my theories turned out to be completely wrong. Hmmfp.

Also, what happened to the new-and-improved FP? He is kind of a jerk to Jughead, stopping short of throwing him out of their trailer to go live with Betty or Archie. I get the analogue of their storyline to Jughead and Betty’s (both Joneses think they have to protect their loved ones) but geez, it’s Christmas, FP. Soften up.

Meanwhile, Veronica comes off as a clueless one-percenter who doesn’t understand how wealth distribution works. Her intentions are good, I guess, when she wants to pay off Fred Andrews’ hospital debt. I get it. But charging the balance to her mother’s Black Card is too much for me to forgive. The Lodges are gross, generally, but for all the reasons they’re horrible people, not wanting to pay the tab isn’t one of them.

Veronica’s childish wish to be all in with her parents’ business misses the mark, as well. I know we’re supposed to suspend our age-related disbelief with this show, and concede that these folks are teenagers, but come on. It just shows how very little savvy she has that her first condition about being a part of the Lodge business is to demand conditions — one of which is obviously completely impossible. Shut up, Veronica. Everything is going to be illegal.

Cheryl is also riding my nerves in this episode, as well. She presents as a spoiled brat who has obviously never been a poor person. In a normal paradigm, a child wouldn’t harangue a parent for not having enough money for Christmas. Riverdale is far too invested in Cheryl’s status as Queen Bee to write her as anything else, and as a result, they missed an opportunity to develop her and Penelope’s character.

They could’ve done some interesting, and wildly creepy, stuff with her and Nana Rose this week, but instead they invoke a Dolly Parton reference and successfully alienate middle class fans everywhere. Not cool, Riverdale.

Related Story: Riverdale has some awkward moments, but we’ve got some predictions

Although I’m a little salty about this midseason conclusion, I still find this show to be wildly interesting and entertaining. They get a lot right. Here’s a few things I loved about “Silent Night, Deadly Night”

• Archie’s a little dim and it’s (probably unintentionally) hilarious. When Fred reveals the balance of his hospital bills as $86,000, Archie replies with, “What? Dollars?” Oh sweetie, you’re going to be fine.
• Hermione (in another cleverly campy moment) tells Hiram that she suspects her Christmas presents are from “Spiffany’s” and that she’s hoping for a “Glamerge” egg. There’s just screwing with us, right? They have to be (especially after last week’s “Shankshaw Prison” line).
• Betty’s earmuffs. This show is so anachronistic, I’ve almost become desensitized, but they continue to delight me with details like this. Keep up the good work.
• They made Betty attempt to bury Archie alive. I’m continually impressed and awe-struck at how this show balances the extremely macabre with pulpy camp.
• Fred Andrews. He didn’t really have a lot to do, but Dylan McKay Luke Perry is freaking awesome and I would watch him paint a fence.
• The devotion to the teen soap genre tropes. The break ups, the make ups, the sweet and sentimental Christmas presents. Never change, Riverdale.

Riverdale is on short hiatus, but will return Jan. 17. It  airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on The CW.