Riverdale has some awkward moments, but we’ve got some predictions

Riverdale took a turn for the awkward this week, and we can’t decide how to feel about these handful of moments from “House of the Devil.”

There have been plenty of times when I had to rub my eyes with my fist and ask my television screen, “What am I watching.” But “Chapter Twenty-One: House of the Devil” brought me to a whole new place. With far less plot movement than prior episodes, this installment was shocking, sure, but also a little off balance. As wacky as Riverdale can get, it’s mostly purpose driven, and I have some suspicions about how these weird and awkward moments will play out in the coming episodes.

Here’s the strangest of the night, told in quotes, and what I think it means for Riverdale’s future.

“Misogyny dies hard.” – Toni Topaz

Moments after Cheryl scolds the creepy janitor-turned-major-plot-point, Betty climbs atop the stage at the Serpent bar, Whyte Wyrm, and takes it all off. As she finishes up her Tears for Fears karaoke song, she takes off her demure, collared shirt, sensible skort, and stands there in nothing but her black undies.

Stripping is what it takes for a woman to become a member of the Serpents, (thus the misogyny comment by Toni) so Betty does it. Right in front of the her mother, her boyfriend’s father, and every other Southside creep, climbs on the conveniently-nearby pole and does a wooden strip tease that makes everybody uncomfortable. I was honestly watching through my fingers, and thankfully FP saves us all by offering her his Serpent coat to cover herself.

Prediction: Is Riverdale asking us to forget about the bad blood between the Northside and the Serpents? It’s hard to tell whether the writers cannibalized the feud just to promote Betty’s inevitable shift into Dark Betty, or if they just hope we won’t really look all that close. Either way, we get to see Betty let her hair down, both figuratively and literally.

“Is it true what they say about men just released from prison?” – Alice Cooper

Good ol’ Alice Cooper. She says this to FP’s father just as he’s released from Shankshaw prison (yes, really). She follows it up with something about sexual frustration, and I audibly cheered.  She’s quickly becoming the most interesting character on Riverdale, and this new chemistry between her and FP is really some kind of awesome.

FP is released from prison under some pretty shady circumstances, and the unlikely foursome head over to Pops to share a malt, because suddenly Alice is a diplomat. Wasn’t she, a mere two episodes ago, imploring Mayor McCoy to “do something” about the degenerates on the Southside? And since when does she acquiece to her daughter so willingly. She’s obviously blinded by how dreamy FP is, and this is a future romance I’m rooting for … hard.

Prediction: I have a feeling this sudden shift in her characterization has to do with Betty’s long lost brother Chick and his paternity. FP is probably the father of the oldest Cooper kid, and Riverdale has to soften Alice to FP now, so it can open the door for some love stuff later on.

“You broke my heart, Jughead.” – FP Jones

Ouch. I can handle a lot of emotional trauma from these folks, but I can’t handle a sad FP. It’s too much. FP has taken on Jughead’s debt, and instead of retiring like he wanted to, he’s back with the Serpents in exchange for Jughead getting out. It’s pointed a Godfather II moment between the two Jones, and Ulrich’s line delivery when he tells Jughead, “You broke my heart,” stopped time. Give him all the awards, right now.

FP’s character has come a long way from the accessory he was in season 1. He was only on the periphery of the murder investigation and served as an emotional catalyst of sorts for Jughead. He was initially painted as kind of bad guy, but Riverdale is rehabilitating him into a loving, stoic martyr of a dad, who has bedroom eyes for Alice Cooper and a heart of gold.

Prediction: FP’s release, and subsequent new lease on life, paves the way for lots of Southside-related intrigue. There is no way Jughead is going to actually leave the gang, so look out for a father/son crime-fighting story line. Add Dark Betty and Serpent Alice to join the clique, and we’ve got a whole new reason to watch Riverdale, now.

“There’s three sets of initials.” – Veronica Lodge

While Bughead is too busy hanging out on the wrong side of the tracks, Veronica and Archie are playing sleuth. Nominated to be the new Betty and Jughead, they have to follow up on a lead Sheriff Keller gave them about a murder house. Because apparently the teenagers are better at crime than the actual law enforcement in this town, Veronica and Archie discover the Reaper left a surviver in the Conway murders.

There’s lots of amateur detective work, and the two deduce that the third surviving Conway kid is actually the creepy janitor Svenson. He ran off after the murders and was adopted by another family and there’s lots of clues that he is more than just a janitor.

Prediction: He is not the Black Hood, but he’s some other kind of villain. He told Veronica and Archie that a mob took the real Reaper out and killed him, but without any corroboration, we can’t be sure. Maybe Svenson is the Reaper, he killed his own family, and is in cahoots with the Black Hood now.

Related Story: Form dictates function on a spooky (and clever) Riverdale

Other moments of interest:

• Cheryl is low-key stalking Josie
• Archie and Veronica have lots of sex, but then break up
• A now single Archie makes eyes at a newly single Betty and sighs. Not now, please.
• Penny Peabody threatens Betty
• The Lodges get a letter from the Black Hood, are Team Archie now

Leave your thoughts and questions in the comments below.

Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on The CW.