How NBC’s The Good Place does female friendships right

Subverting expectations is what The Good Place does best. And in the case of overdone gender stereotypes, the show is no different.

Here’s the scene: I’m halfway through the third episode of The Good Place, and am ready to turn off my TV. This episode follows Eleanor and Tahani pretending to be friends, while hating and undermining each other in secret.

I’m put off because it seems to be setting up one of the many stereotypical dynamics written for two women in television: the two faced women who are as sweet as syrup to each other’s faces, and spend all their free time trying to stab each other in the back.

And beneath that tiresome cliché is a universal theme that runs throughout so much media: that if a show contains two named and important female characters, odds are they just won’t like each other. Why? Just because. (Or maybe because some writers have no idea how to write two women interacting in a meaningful and positive way. Just a concept.)

But The Good Place has become known for drop-kicking expectations, and this early in the show things were no different. When Eleanor walks in on Tahani crying on her expensive chaise lounge, I expected her to immediately use that moment of “weakness” as leverage.

Eleanor stops in the door, momentarily shocked — and, after a little eye-roll, seemingly at her own instinct to help, she steps inside and asks Tahani if she wants to talk about it. Both characters make a genuine connection, and at the end of the day their friendship becomes real.

That’s not the only time that two women step back from the drama to do the mature thing. When Eleanor and Tahani are at odds again over their mutual attraction to Chidi, it seems the infuriating trope of “two women fight over a man” is about to rear its ugly head.

That trope is a crock of radioactive waste mainly because it reinforces the idea that a woman’s relationship with a man can and will take precedent over all others. It says that no female relationship is so important that it can’t be instantly and utterly invalidated if a hot enough hunk strolls along.

True to form, The Good Place does better. In the middle of an argument quickly heading for hair-pulling, Eleanor stops herself in the middle of an angry retort and delivers a line which made me literally fist-pump:

"No. We’re not gonna do this. We are not gonna be those women who fight over a guy, and find any excuse to rip each other apart."

Hallelujah! A show that not only avoids the worst tropes about female relationships, but explicitly acknowledges how dumb they are. Instead of fighting, Eleanor and Tahani decide to spend the day repairing their relationship over TV shows and hair extensions.

What I love about that moment is the fact that putting their friendship first was a conscious effort on Eleanor and Tahani’s part. They decide to rise above the drama and put their relationship first. Though especially relevant to female relationships in the media, that idea is universal: that two mature people can always make a choice to try and work things out.

In season 2, Eleanor steps up to help Janet, the all-knowing inhuman custodian of the Neighborhood who was briefly married to swamp-dwelling DJ Jason. Side bar: I love how ridiculous this show is.

Though the set up could easily lead to a conflict between Janet and Tahani for Jason’s affections, Janet actually struggles with the the conflict within herself. In the end, she only feels better when she acknowledges that she’s confused by her own emotions — that her issues can’t be solved simply by finding a man, but rather by talking through it with her friends.

Time and time again, the women of The Good Place are there to support each other. Even when conflicts inevitably arise, they never de-value their female relationships. Rather than making men the end-all-be-all of the female experience, these characters value each other just as much as their romantic relationships.

It’s refreshing — and honestly, that makes me sad. I live for the day when meaningful and devoted friendships between women becomes the norm. When the media constantly reiterates the “fact” that women are “benchy” by default and will naturally turn on each other, what kind of effect will that have on the millions of people watching?

We need more media that acknowledges the importance of friendships between women, and The Good Place is a great example.

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Make sure you get caught up on The Good Place for its return from winter hiatus on Jan. 4!