Justice League’s top 7 hilarious and heartfelt moments

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Still from Justice League (2017) official trailer. Image via DC Entertainment / Warner Bros.

Batman is low-key useless

Look, we can debate the extent of Bruce Wayne’s effectiveness in the face of literal magic until the cows come home. No matter how you slice it, refusing to go to therapy and being super goth doesn’t hold a candle to the beings of immense power Batman ropes into joining his League.

And bless their hearts, DC embraced it. When the Flash asks Bruce what his superpower is, he simply replies, “I’m rich.”

After Superman is resurrected from the alien goo pod using one of the alien Mother Boxes that Steppenwolf is pursuing (in case you were worried this movie’s plot isn’t convoluted enough), he immediately flies away, resulting in a scene where JL’s super-powered teammates all follow him with ease, and Batman shows up five minutes late to the party because presumably, he had to jog there.

He then proceeds to get beat up by Superman before Lois Lane comes to the rescue, leaving Bruce fainting in the grass like a fragile Victorian maiden clutching his injured leg and moaning. Okay, I might be exaggerating Bruce’s frailty a bit, but not by much.

Then, at the opening of the final battle, Batman shoots off in his Batmobile to play the evil minions some unsolicited alien Skrillex, which of course makes them all want to kill him. In the midst of leading them away and nobly sacrificing himself so his more effective teammates can have a better shot at Steppenwolf, the rest of the League swoops in to save him (and kind of ruin his dramatic moment).

On the one hand, embracing Bruce’s de-powered disadvantages rather than desperately trying to compensate for them was a great narrative choice. And on the other, it established something crucially important to Bruce Wayne as a character: it showed him that his teammates cared about him, and would protect him and support him when he couldn’t take care of himself.

As a chronic loner and career emo, having Bruce be looked after by his fellow superheroes was exactly the kind of sentimental drivel I’m 100% here for. Now let’s everyone have a group hug. No, seriously, they desperately need one. The JL’s got issues, man.