John Oliver talks Equifax and credit reports on Last Week Tonight

John Oliver talks credit reports and Equifax on Last Week Tonight. Here’s why you seriously need to pay attention and fix your credit.

The latest episode of Last Week Tonight focused on the credit breach experienced by Equifax, one of the largest credit reporting companies out there. This is a major credit story that, thanks to all of the other crazy politics items out there, might have seemed relatively inconsequential. However, this is a serious issue. John Oliver explained why.

See, Equifax is “one of the big three credit reporting agencies”. Reports issued by Equifax help to determine whether or not you’re a reliable, trustworthy person. That, in turn, helps determine whether you’re eligible for big loans that can help you buy a car, a home, or other big, life-changing purchases. In general, an Equifax report can prove whether or not you’re trustworthy.

About a month ago, it was revealed that nearly 145 million Americans experienced a hack via Equifax. Thankfully, that doesn’t include the most private sacrosanct of your internet life — your Google search history.

The bad news? The hackers might have your name, Social Security number, addresses, driver’s license number and more. If you’re in the witness protection program, great! Your old life has been trashed anyway. For the rest of us,  however, that’s a bit of an issue.

Why take notice?

Still, who cares? After all, many of us are part of a brave new generation that routinely sends obscene pictures to one another over the internet. We routinely consent to be monitored in the name of better marketing and “customer service”. So what if someone’s social security number is revealed? What does that matter, anyway?

Well, actually, it’s still a big deal. That number is vital, and not just in some wishy-washy metaphorical sense. A breach of your social security number can have significant llifelong consequences for you and the people you care about. For example, a criminal can use someone’s Social Security number to open up credit card accounts, buy homes, open bank accounts, start a job and even claim your own children as dependents. That’s especially egregious if you agree with Oliver when he says that “the tax benefit is the whole point of having children”.

“It’s a huge problem,” says Oliver. In any other era, this would have been an absolutely enormous story. And yet, this has somehow slipped under the radar.

(Warning: this clip contains some strong language)

What’s the big deal?

First of all, at least according to Oliver, practically everyone has done something wrong.

For instance, Rick Smith, CEO of Equifax, issued a taped apology that seemed… shall we say, lackluster. Smith’s response to the massive data breach was so wilted and mechanical that “you probably have to put him in rice every time he gets wet,” said Oliver.

And while we’re at it, why did they wait so long? They claimed that it was because the breach involved complicated and sensitive information. But is that the entire truth? After all, what happened during that six-week time span? Three executives sold stock in the company before the breach was disclosed to the public. Equifax said that none of those executives knew about the data breach. However, is it really possible that such a high-level employee didn’t know about this massive breach?

What’s worse, there are multiple points where this issue could have been prevented. Even a federal agency like Homeland Security stepped in and attempted to remedy the situation before it reached its current scope. The agency alerted Equifax to multiple weak points in its software systems in March 2017. Somehow, a single person failed to alert others to the issue and helped cause the massive snafu we see today.

Equifax has experienced multiple breaches over the years. For example, technical issues led to one women being send hundreds of different credit reports for many different people. Why didn’t we hear about that on a national news level?

Social Security numbers in particular can make for dire consequences. These can devastate your financial situation for the rest of your life. At the very least, you could be consigned to monitoring your credit for your remaining days. According to Oliver, ”there is only one other thing that you have to constantly protect yourself from until you’re dead, and that’s f***ing death”.

What has Equifax done to help?

They created a website for consumers to check out their credit security, but developers showed that fake sites were just as likely to be shared as the genuine one. Seriously, one site even Rickrolled visitors when they checked on the “FAQ” section of the site. Is it somehow possible to be even more obvious about the fakery inherent in such a site? And yet, Equifax tweeted links to the fake credit check site multiple times.

Equifax claims to be doing better, but are they, really? For example, Last Week Tonight bought equifaxfraudprotection.com, which is very clearly not a genuine site. The show’s false credit check site included questions such as “How were we still able to do this?” and “Why haven’t you learned anything?”

Okay, maybe you’re too savvy to fall for such an obvious ploy. Maybe, instead, you’d rather keep an eye on your credit. In that case, Equifax also offered a free year of credit monitoring, but it came with a significant catch. The terms of service for this included a line where you couldn’t sue the company. Awfully convenient, that. The company has since rescinded the clause, but many consumers have fled to other services, like LifeLock.

Oh, wait, you mean there’s another catch? Are you really that surprised? LifeLock purchased its credit monitoring services through Equifax. Its revenue, in part, actually goes directly to Equifax. So, while you think you may be taking care of that credit monitoring through a more-or-less neutral party, you’re actually not.

LifeLock itself has had serious and consistent issues. That includes a seriously weird ad campaign, which included the disclosure of its CEO’s actual social security number. Oh, yeah, and he had his identity stolen at least 13 separate times, likely as a result of this particular ad campaign.

Your best solution

Okay, fair enough — you’re worried. What can you do now? Go to all three large credit reporting companies — Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion — and freeze your credit. That means no one (including you) can access it until it’s effectively unfrozen.

Don’t lock your credit, as that’s essentially not thorough enough. Instead, it’s better to freeze it until further notice. Naturally enough, freezing and unfreezing your credit is expensive. Meanwhile, the credit reporting companies seem unable to face real life consequences for these screw-ups.

Next: John Oliver wants to talk about Confederate memorials

Equifax, after all, is still open for business. It’s more beholden to banks and other financial institutions, rather than the individuals whose lives are affected by security breaches and shady terms of service.

In the long term, it’s clear that we need major reform. But what do you do now? Freeze your credit reports and unfreeze when you need to apply for credit. This is, naturally enough, difficult to do. Thankfully, Last Week Tonight has supplied easy links via its Twitter feed.

Be sure to check out the rest of the show’s Twitter feed for links to other credit reporting companies. For now, it’s the best that you can do if your information has been compromised.