7 Culturess writers on the word ‘girl’

(Image courtesy Sarah Crocker)

6. Sarah Crocker

In most cases, being called a “girl” by a stranger gets my hackles up.

Maybe it’s because, most days, my gender presentation leans more androgynous than feminine. Being called a “girl” can feel like another person’s attempt to place me into a more understandable category. I can’t entirely blame them. Sometimes it’s easier to frame someone as a “girl”— identifiable, compliant, nonthreatening. Who’s afraid of a girl, after all? A woman, however, could present a serious challenge.

That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with being outwardly feminine or enjoying traditionally feminine things. If you prefer “girl” for whatever reason, go for it.

Still, there’s something about being called a “girl” that feels off-key. “Woman” is fine, but, for me, “girl” recalls a childhood identity and culturally-approved love of pink that never quite fit.

There’s also a lot to say here about adulthood. Is it easier to call yourself a “girl” when you feel like you haven’t earned adulthood? HBO’s Girls, with its anxious young women, made that unease one of its main themes.

It could also be a way to reclaim our youth. Wouldn’t you rather hang out with “the girls”, instead of “my adult female friends who have jobs and obligations and, sorry, we have to cut this short so I can pick up my kid from violin practice and get a flu shot”? Being an adult is hard. Being a girl is (sometimes) easier.

But I’m not trying to be a total buzzkill. It’s good to establish that kind of trust with friends, even if they’re sick of my Lumpy Space Princess-inspired “hey gurl.” And I’m not so lame that I want to stand in the way of, you know, actual fun.

At the end of the day, though, teachers, coworkers, waiters, and any other stranger who wants to call me a “girl” can kindly step down.