Is it demeaning or empowering to call a woman a “girl”? Seven Culturess writers weigh in on the term and its complicated, often personal usage
LOS ANGELES, CA – JUNE 02: A view of the Ban.do penthouse at ‘Super Deluxe and Sarah Ramos present a live reading of City Girl’ on June 2, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images)
How do you feel about being called a “girl”? For people who are actual minors, it’s largely no big deal. After all, a girl is literally defined as a “female child.”
It gets complicated when we apply that label to adult women, however. For some, the term is simply a fun way to mark someone as a friend or to describe a fun event. “The girls and I are going out to celebrate!,” for instance. Yet, for others, being described as a girl is demeaning.
Women get called “girls” all the time in pop culture. There’s The Golden Girls, HBO’s Girls series, New Girl, Gone Girl, and Alicia Keys singing about a girl who is metaphorically on fire. Culturess itself draws a lot on the “fangirl” image. Women are “girls” everywhere in pop culture.
But do we have to be comfortable with something just because it’s ubiquitous?
In American culture and beyond, women are persistently infantilized. We are often made to feel as if we are less capable and more childlike simply because of our gender. Think back to all of the lame jokes you’ve probably heard about women—how we all love spending money or how women are the worst drivers—and you should get the drift. Fangirls themselves are often subject to “fake geek girl” scrutiny, be it a surprise test of their fandom knowledge or unwanted attention at comics shops, conventions, and more.
The good side of “girl”
Like many things in life, however, the word “girl” isn’t entirely good or bad. A lot depends on context. A group of friends affectionately calling each other their “girls” can be a powerful way to establish friendship.
Neither are “girls” instantly degraded in pop culture. After all, look at comedies like New Girl or Girls, which have gained success thanks in large part to their focus on female leads struggling with adulthood.
Supergirl, Ms. Marvel, and Wonder Woman have shown that even the world of comics, despite its “boys only club” past, can be welcoming to strong, smart girls and the women they become. That’s to say nothing of other comics publishers—in other words, here is your periodic reminder to go read Lumberjanes.
Others have made a good case for reclaiming the word “girl.” Why be ashamed of being a girl when you can make it an honorable thing? Beyoncé’s right on this point.
So, what to do with the word “girl”? Is it okay to call an adult woman one? Who should use the word, and when, and how? What about other terms like “ladies” and “miss”? When is it a vehicle to demean and demoralize, or one to strengthen bonds and build pride?
Maybe you think we’re all getting worked up over nothing. However, consider that impact of words. A single word can set the tone for one interaction or an entire relationship. It can establish divides or build bridges. Words are undeniably important. Whether or not you feel that a term like “girl” really matters to you does not negate the fact that it can be a big deal to someone else.
We’re not here to dictate how you should feel one way or another. Instead, we present seven different opinions from Culturess writers on the word “girl.”