Cesar Milan wants to read your dog an audiobook: Wednesday Wag

Celebrity dog trainer Cesar Milan has partnered with Audible on a new collection of audiobooks for dogs to listen to while their owners are away, which might actually be brilliant.

Keeping your four-legged family member calm and occupied while you’re away so you don’t come home to a shredded pile of what was once your shoes is vital as a dog owner. Plenty of solutions to the issue are out there: there are puzzle-solving toys, robot fetch machines, even DogTV (“The First TV Channel for Dogs,” which seems a little suspect, tbh). But people are willing to go to some serious lengths to ensure their pets are happy at home while they’re away. Or perhaps to ensure they don’t feel as guilty for leaving their pet at home while they’re away. Celebrity dog trainer extraordinaire Cesar Milan has developed a solution he’s swearing by: audiobooks specially created or chosen for dogs. Audiobook site Audible announced their partnership with Milan this week. “Audible for Dogs” is being billed as “an audio content destination designed to foster calm, relaxed behavior in dogs.”

Among the books included in the initial launch of the program are several dog-centric stories as well as other classics:

• W. Bruce Cameron’s A Dog’s Purpose performed by William Dufris
• Garth Stein’s The Art of Racing in the Rain performed by Christopher Evan Welch
• Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood  performed by Trevor Noah
• Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice performed by Rosamund Pike
• Kenneth Grahame’s The Wind in the Willows performed by Shelly Frasier
• Maria Goodavage’s Soldier Dogs: The Untold Story of America’s Canine Heroes performed by Nicole Vilencia

There surely those who will scoff at this project, but we can see where  it might work. Milan cites a 2015 study that found audiobooks had a more calming effect on dogs than music, and did further research with a group of 100 dogs at his own Dog Psychology Center, finding “76 percent of dog owners who played audiobooks for their dogs reported an increase in calm, relaxed behavior in their pets over a four-week period.” Now, of course, that could be a placebo effect: the pet owners feel good about doing something to calm their dogs, i.e. playing the audiobooks when they leave, and the positive vibe they give off as a result is actually what’s calming the animals. Or, hey, maybe the dog just really appreciates W. Bruce Cameron’s use of prose in A Dog’s Purpose. Either way, if something works, it works.

In our own scientific study aka my playing clips of the free downloads Milan recorded for the collection, the canine subject (aka my Australian shepherd mix) had no perceptible response to Milan’s soothing voice. Of course, the books are meant to be played when the owner is away, not typing away at a laptop with the dog curled around her feet. Milan also recommends finding a book read by someone of the same gender and accent as the pet owner.

Next: Adult dogs will step out onto the field in the Dog Bowl

Curating a collection of books, mostly about dogs, for this launch was obviously a cute marketing move, but if the research simply shows audiobooks are calming to lonely pups, why not just put on any audiobook? What if my dog likes legal thrillers more than heartwarming books about dogs? If Shark Tank has taught me anything (and it’s taught me a lot, Robert Herjavec and Lori Greiner are incredibly wise), it’s that a good idea must be proprietary. So I don’t know if Audible for Dogs will necessarily take off, but I’d definitely be willing to give playing an audiobook for my anxious dog a try.