John Oliver discusses Border Patrol in this week’s Last Week Tonight

Oliver talked about the Border Patrol’s upcoming hiring surge and its complicated, important possibilities on Last Week Tonight

Ask someone their feelings about border security in the United States, and you’re likely to get some complicated feelings. Few want completely open borders, but it’s likely that fewer still will give the Border Patrol a vote of confidence. Border Patrol agents themselves can be complicated figures, no less complex for all of the ever-changing policies they must enforce. Don’t forget that they often have to do all of this in the vast loneliness of a southwestern desert.

Donald Trump’s policies aren’t exactly a boon to this whole enterprise. There’s the infamous border wall, of course, but that’s not the entirety of Trump’s plan. He wants to increase the number of agents in U.S. Customs and Border Protection by about 5,000 individuals. John Oliver, however, wants you to know why that’s not necessarily a good plan.

As stated by Oliver, an agent’s job isn’t just about drugs. Border Patrol is increasingly dealing with migrants who are fleeing violence in Central America. Meanwhile, the number of illegal migrants from Mexico is falling. This makes the moral reality of a Border Patrol agent’s job more complicated than “catching bad guys”.

On any given day, an agent may indeed stop drug traffickers, but they could also be supplying blankets and water to migrant families (and later arranging for their deportation). They are also likely to spend long stretches of time alone in isolated regions of the U.S., particularly near the U.S.-Mexico border. That’s not something that’s really advertised in the agency’s recruitment efforts, for some reason.

So, argued Oliver, quickly hiring agents may lead to issues in an already surprisingly complex job. To illustrate his point, Oliver talked about the last time the federal government hired a large amount of Border Patrol agents: shortly after 9/11.

The last time Border Patrol hired a bunch of new agents

George W. Bush actually pushed for about 10,000 more Border Patrol agents, doubling the force by the late 2000s. Recruitment campaigns were aggressive, to the point where Customs and Border Patrol sponsored a NASCAR team for $8.4 million. The agency also produced a slick ad that made the job look really cool. However, the ad, which was aired on Last Week Tonight, conveniently skipped the isolation and long hours of boredom the new agents must come to terms with.

During this hiring surge, which took place mostly in the late 2000s, the Border Patrol’s interview process did not keep pace with its hiring. The agency didn’t add polygraph tests until late in the hiring surge. Meanwhile, one this occurred, over half of the applicants passed a background test, but still admitted to serious crimes. This included one agent that admitted to smoking an astonishing amount of weed, while another couldn’t explain why, after a blackout, he discovered that his kitchen was covered in blood.

Training of new hires also began to lag. Spanish-language classes were reportedly cut back, while physical fitness programs were left lacking. Unsurprisingly, misconduct and corruption-related charges also went up. At its worst, Border Patrol reported an average of two alcohol-related arrests a week for its agents. One couple produced some serious public lewdness at a Cirque du Soleil performance, though Oliver admitted that some of the acrobatic poses did look pretty suggestive all on their own.

Corruption within the Border Patrol

Since 2005, 77 agents have been arrested or indicted for corruption. Agents’ lonely situation – isolated and likely incredibly bored for most of their patrol – could make them an easy target for drug trafficking. As one commentator said, a single agent could screw up an entire anti-drug trafficking operation.

For example, there’s former agent Joel Luna, charged with drug trafficking and sending illegal weapons into Mexico. His brother was in the Gulf drug cartel, for one. Luna also kept his Border Control badge in a safe, in his home, that also contained a bunch of drugs and a gun labeled with Gulf cartel information. Luna joined the Border Patrol during Bush’s 9/11-inspired hiring surge.

Border Patrol spokespeople say that this shouldn’t represent the other agents, but others claim that this is more indicative of overall trends within the agency. Some Border Patrol agents have become involved in fatal shootings. A use of force review conducted by U.S. Customs and Border Protection concluded that “too many cases do not appear to meet the test of objective reasonableness with regard to the use of deadly force”.

Issues facing the new hiring surge

Given all of these issues, one hopes that there are some differences this time around. Oliver said that there’s “slightly more transparency” within the agency, along with non-lethal weapons and a rule saying that agents shouldn’t shoot fleeing people who don’t pose a threat to anyone. However, despite making rules for things that should have been common sense already, there’s already talk of lowering standards. This includes reportedly shorter polygraph tests and less stringent testing and hiring standards.

Plus, questioned Oliver, do we really need all of these new agents? In fact, a report from the Department of Homeland Security itself questions the hiring surge. Trump himself can’t be trusted to have come up with thorough, calmly reasoned arguments for the move. Said Oliver, “There’s a fairly good chance he only said 5,000 because someone told him 5 bazillion is not a real number”.

It’s hard to argue that we want anything other than the best, most honest people enforcing these laws. “The very least we could do is be more careful this time around”, said Oliver. He then aired a revamped Border Patrol ad showing the exciting world of… waiting around in a desert.

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The new ad also depicted riveting scenes of someone eating their lunch in the desert and dramatically pulling up to a migrant family in order to give them blankets and water. They also went so far as to emblazon a Honda Odyssey with Border Patrol logos.

Not as dramatic as the earlier ad or an $8.4 million NASCAR setup, to be sure, but far more sensible. We can only hope that the newest Border Patrol agents will agree.