Twin Peaks The Return: A place both strange and wonderful, maybe

Twin Peaks: The Return is both perplexing and intriguing, and we wouldn’t really expect anything less. Or would we? It’s hard to tell, at this point.

Twin Peaks The Return debuted the first two parts of its 18-hour reboot last night, and I barely know where to start. As a fan of the original, the newest installment felt sufficiently familiar, yet offered enough surprises to remind me this is something new altogether.

But something is amiss in the revival that I can’t put my finger on – which isn’t always a bad thing. When the first two seasons debuted in 1990-91 it was completely new under the sun and this radical uniqueness made it a must-see event.

However, since the early ’90s, we’ve seen a new golden age of TV debut, and Twin Peaks isn’t so bizarre and unusual, anymore. With shows like True Detective, Fargo, and Lost in our recent TV past, Twin Peaks doesn’t feel particularly curious now.

I’m not mad at it, and this is by no means a bad review, but I do have major questions to grapple with as the season unfolds.

What the hell am I watching?

The original series concerned itself with two  major questions: “Who killed Laura Palmer?” and “What did I just see?” The reboot doesn’t have to struggle with a dead Laura, but it sure does drill down on the second factor.

The gist of the A plot centers around Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), who is still trapped in the Black Lodge. His evil doppleganger, who looks like a super tan extra on That ’70s Show roams around our world causing havoc and mayhem. Evil Cooper has nefarious business in South Dakota that includes a high school principal (Matthew Lillard) and a decapitated librarian.

Fine. We’ll accept the evil-twin bit, but there are a handful of other storylines and physical settings that muddy the waters even further. There’s the weird glass box, aloft in a New York City skyscraper, which is some sort of portal to the Red Room – the stylish waiting room to hell that we spend a LOT of time in. Good Cooper comes through, but not before another strange apparition appears that looks like a naked-lady-ghost-tornado. The glass box is guarded by a young man who gets his face chewed off by said ghost-tornado.

Speaking of the oft-visited Red Room, The Arm, previously played by the actor Al Strobel, is now a weirdly electrified branch-like thing with a nebulous white orb for a head. The one armed man makes an appearance, as well as Laura Palmer herself.

Everything is cryptic and coded, and it’s so hard to discern plot from puzzle at this point.

What year is it anyway?

Obviously, it’s been 27 years since we left Twin Peaks, but somebody forgot to tell David Lynch. The show still has the low-budget aesthetic as the ABC original, even though we know Showtime offered this man a zillion dollars to make this show.

Audiences are much more jaded these days, and it seems a little out of time- awkwardly anachronistic, if there is even such a thing. Why do we want the reboot to look like it still exists in the ’90s universe of the original? The Red Room special effects are distracting, often coming off as gimmicks instead of camp.

Is this nostalgic aesthetic on purpose? Probably. But I don’t know if I’m smart or savvy enough to appreciate it right now.

Can modern audiences connect with it?

I mentioned I was a fan of the original, so I was drawn by sheer curiosity and nostalgia. I’m old enough to remember the effect Twin Peaks had on the popular culture, and I’m also aware enough to recognize it’s legacy in so much of modern TV. But does it translate?

It’s pace is almost unbearable. With shows like Scandal, Game of Thrones, and Walking Dead, modern audiences are used to spending their hour busy with drama and plot developments. I fear Twin Peaks‘ slow and deliberate pacing will turn off contemporary viewers whose attention spans have been ground down to a fraction of what used to be. Twitter exploded last night with fan reactions.

The show itself seems like a bit of a relic. Of course, it’s definitely one worth examining, but you have to ask yourself if folks will even bother.

When shows like Rectify, Better Call Saul, and The Leftovers are being overlooked, it’s doubtful that Twin Peaks will be able to sustain the less-committed viewers. Which, I guess, is fine. I say, “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”

But does it have to be so much work?

It’s just so confusing. It’s like a puzzle that I’m going to have to solve in two months, but I have to know which clues to hold onto now. It’s maddening. For the same reason I don’t read poetry, I’m having some major concerns about Twin Peaks: The Return.

How are you watching it and NOT taking notes? There’s dozens of characters, a myriad storylines, multiple dimensions, and a lot of throwbacks, mixed in with new stuff. It’s insane. Which is standard practice in the Lynch-universe.

But how much auteur is too much auteur? Do I need to have an advanced degree in post-modern film making to understand the scope of this show? I’ll admit, I’ve been desensitized by dumb sitcoms and trashy reality, so it may take me a while to recalibrate the way I watch tv.

I’m not alone, however. I sat in front of my TV for the entire two hours with my hand over my open mouth wondering out loud, “Huh?” Twitter had some feelings as well. Fans were perplexed with the reboot, as well.

See? It’s not just me.

Twin Peaks: The Return is a little like eating your veggies, but I’m willing to do it. The original was such an important contribution to our shared popular culture, we owe it ourselves and to the show to stick it out. Maybe. I’m not sure if I’m trying to talk you or me into watching, but I’m committed to the cause.

A few things worth noting:

• Log Lady is back
• Hawk is now the acting law enforcement, even though Lucy infers there are two Sheriff Trumans
• Bad Cooper’s wig is awful and horribly distracting. It has to go
• There’s a fair amount of math and numbers, to contend with – 430, 256, 25 years
• I’m already shipping Shelly and James, but I’m definitely here for whomever Balthazaar Getty plays.
• Jerry Horne might be the best thing to ever happen to Twin Peaks.

Related Story: Twin Peaks refresher: What you need to know

Twin Peaks: The Return airs Sundays at 9/8c on Showtime.

I’ll be here every Monday to help us sort through our feelings about Twin Peaks: The Return. We’ll be okay, if we do it together.