Chris Craziness: March Madness Round of 32 – Christopher Meloni vs. Christopher Guest


In the next Round of 32, we have one the greatest Law and Order: SVU detectives facing off the against the dubious and cruel six-fingered man.

Chris Craziness continues! Today, we call upon the two actors I’d file under “oldies but goodies.” Like many of the folks on our Chris Craziness list, they’ve enjoyed long careers and both deserve to move onto the next round, Sweet Sixteen. Just like March Madness, it’s impossible to tell who’s going to win until the very last second. Of course, for Chris Craziness, the final score is determined by your votes on Twitter. So if you’re not following us on Twitter, then you’re missing out on the opportunity to help one of these guys make it on to the next round.

So here are our selections for the Round of 32, Round 3:

Christopher Meloni arrives at the WGN America’s “Underground” Los Angeles Premiere held at The Theatre at ACE Hotel in Los Angeles, California on Wednesday, March 2, 2016 (Photo By Sthanlee B. Mirador) *** Please Use Credit from Credit Field ***

Christopher Meloni (Actor)

Every time I hear Christopher Meloni’s name, I think of two things: the famous “dun-dun” sound from Law and Order, and of course, the opening monolog — “In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives…” etc, etc. But I also always think of that scene in Runaway Bride when he tells his football team to take Julia Roberts away on her chariot that happens to be those football things that helps them practice defense … I don’t what it’s called, but at least, I know the cold open to Law and Order: SVU.

“I hope you two will be really happy together.”


SANTA MONICA, CA – SEPTEMBER 28: Christopher Guest at the Los Angeles No Kid Hungry Dinner on September 28, 2016 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Frank Micelotta/Fox/PictureGroup) *** Please Use Credit from Credit Field ***

Christopher Guest (Actor)

Another distinguished actor who’s been a part of some of the defining moments of youth. I feel like the only way to introduce Christopher Guest is to talk about my childhood and my plan for revenge:

"“My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. When the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before it was done. The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at 1/10 his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I love my father. So naturally, I challenged this murderer to a duel.”"

I was 11 years old. 

Okay, so maybe my life isn’t The Princess Bride and Christopher Guest isn’t really the six-fingered man, Count Rugen. Obviously, he’s known for many other things like his mockumentary film series, too. But is it enough to see him to the next round?

Are you going to vote? Swear that it will be done.

Next: Chris Craziness: March Madness Culturess-Style

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