Have you ever just passionately wanted to smell like your cat? The new Kitten Fur scent from Demeter will give you all the fabulous fragrance of your feline friend.
In today’s episode of “Why the hell is this even a thing,” we have cat cologne. Not cologne for your cat (please don’t put cologne on your cat), but rather, cologne and a range of other scented products that will make you smell…exactly like a cat, for some reason. Specifically, the “purrfect spot, just behind a kitten’s neck,” hence the title of the fragrance, “Kitten Fur.”
The cologne is from Demeter Fragrance, the product of the northeast’s penchant for weird scents. The first three fragrances the company ever came out with were Dirt, Grass, and Tomato, respectively, according to their own origin story. You can even browse their most popular scents for an idea of what folks are actually buying, which apparently includes aromas such as Baby Powder, Gin & Tonic, and Paperback (okay, I can get behind that last one maybe) alongside more reasonable offerings such as Cherry Blossom, Jasmine, and Rain.
And then there’s Kitten Fur, which comes in forms besides cologne such as a purse spray, a body lotion, shower gel, and (for the love of God) massage oil. I have so many questions, including: What does a kitten actually smell like? Can you achieve the same effect by rubbing a cat all over yourself? Will this cologne make cats more attracted to you? Will this cologne make dogs want to chase you? What does it smell like, though?!
In spite of my own curiosity, I will not be purchasing Kitten Fur cologne from Demeter, though I’m a bit disappointed that they don’t have a proper “Puppy Fur” counterpart. Instead, we’ll have to settle for “Zombie Dog,” a fragrance which…dear God, there can’t be anyone who has a good thing to say about the smell of death, decay, and wet dog fur.