It’s another famous fail from the Always Sunny gang as they try to control the narrative in this week’s adventure “Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare.”
There’s one thing we’ll never tire of on Always Sunny, it’s the gang’s boundless efforts to make a buck. This crew has come up with so many different inventions and ideas over the years, like Kitten Mittens, Paddy’s Dollars, and Fight Milk. That last one makes another welcome appearance in Season 12 Episode 4’s “Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare.” This gang may talk a big game, but their over-confidence and nasty nature always wins out. So let’s recap why hiring these guys to do any kind of damage control is the worst idea ever.
Beefing Up Fight Milk
Frank enters the bar, ready to do some cocaine at 10:05 a.m. on a Monday in Philly. The rest of the gang, already sitting there, surprisingly doesn’t judge Frank’s “morning routine” and instead asks him about his one-time money laundering front Wolf Cola. Frank says he’s selling it to the “jews in Boca Raton.” Except, big mistake, it’s actually going to Boko Haram, an extremist terror group still active in Africa. Whoops indeed.
This public relations nightmare isn’t all bad. Mac and Charlie find out Frank has been selling their energy drink Fight Milk under the parent corporation “Frank’s Fluids.” Delicious. After hearing the drink has a foothold in the UFC arena, Mac and Charlie decide they’re going to take it and run with it. They burst into the local UFC gym where they meet up with (actual) UFC fighters Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone and Paul Felder. Turns out, they only like Fight Milk because it helps them “make weight” by puking or…door number 2. Mac and Charlie don’t want their product to make people sick, so they go for a rebrand.
They get things moving with another hilarious TV ad, starting with “Are you fat? Probably are ‘cuz you’re watching TV. Or internet.” The duo hypes up the rebranded 100% crowtine potion, this time making it for both men and women. Unfortunately, it’s not a hit with UFC Cheerleaders, mainly because Charlie said men have four types of bodies (“Skinny ripped, jacked ripped, dad bod and fat if you’re funny”) but women have just one acceptable body type: “Skinny big t*ts.”
Only Cerrone and Felder try the rebrand out, and threaten to kill Charlie and Mac if they don’t make weight. Will the power of Fight Milk be revealed?
Damaging Damage Control
Meanwhile, the Reynoldses try to repair the devastating public image of Wolf Cola, now that an international terror group has made it the official drink. Image means a lot to this crew, so Dennis decides to bring back the family-run company’s good name via television interviews. He tells Dee to shut up and say nothing, and hopes Frank will keep a lid on trying to humanize Boko Haram. But there’s a catch. Dennis grabs a 24-hour countdown clock (from Bed Bath & Beyond no less) and uses it as a representation of the 24-hour news cycle. He says they have a full day to make their image favorable again, and if not, the cycle starts over. It’s a pretty perfect parallel to the cycle of news we’re seeing now.
Their first segment with WCYZ seems to be going off without a hitch. The Twitter scroll at the bottom is humanity at its most superficial, which is exactly what Dennis is. He appears glib and cold as he explains Wolf Cola’s stance, but the public is eating it up. That is, until Dee says “sorry” and frank says mosquitoes are more of a threat than Boko Haram. It’s a belly-up disaster, forcing Dennis to restart the clock.
The gang tries again, this time Dee dons a Hillary Clinton-esque pantsuit and vows to not be apologetic (and stop “oozing sexuality.”) Things are actually fine until Frank calls Boko Haram “our friends” and Dennis’ encounter with a dog on-set leads to a weird ‘dogphobic’ rant where he ends up saying he should be able to “eat a bucket of fried dog at a chicken fight.” There’s no coming back from any of this, the public’s Twitter scroll has spoken. The gang shuffles off-set with their (fried) tail between their legs.
Brands Gone Bad
Mac and Charlie find out that Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone actually makes his weight during the UFC weigh-in event. They both get invited up onto stage in order to peddle their product. But when they declare Fight Milk as the official drink of the UFC, they’re quickly escorted out. Too bad the crowd is already into it, chanting “Fight Milk!” long into the night.
Dennis, Dee, and Frank are sadly watching the news, knowing their final attempt at public relations went up in smoke. The entire episode they keep talking about where the line is drawn in regards to public damage control, citing Floyd Mayweather’s domestic violence record and the Catholic Church “side-stepping” molestation accusations. They’re learning the hard way they won’t be able to come back from “hating dogs,” thanks to Dennis’ creepy outburst.
Mac and Charlie come back in, defeated at yet another failed venture. The TV then switches to UFC news, where everyone finds out competitors who drank Fight Milk are banned? Apparently the boys put a bunch of Human Growth Hormones in the rebrand, obviously a big no-no in that sports area. For a second, Dennis is elated because now all the “hour-by-hour” updates about Wolf Cola will be turned to Fight Milk. How quickly he forgets the umbrella corporation Frank’s Fluids, which they all operate under. The episode ends on a dismal note, where Dee simply says “Start the clock.” They’ve all got to pick up and start over, getting ready for another zany scheme on their never-ending quest for superficial praise.
What Have We Learned?
This gang will stop at nothing to convince everyone around them that they’re in the right. Over 12 Seasons, the writers have formed a group that we don’t want to root for, but can’t look away from their antics. They’re all so equally repugnant in their own way that they’ve become an unstoppable force of failure. This is especially ironic since the show does so well in ratings and online. But these characters are becoming less and less redeemable as time goes on.
But we don’t want redemption. We want more and more envelope pushing, which the team has beautifully delivered and continue to create even more and more engaging content. We have fun watching for other bits of consistency and returning themes as time goes on. The gang’s depravity is at least on display for everyone to see. They represent the darkest parts of human nature, and in a weird way that’s what humanizes them. It’s very difficult to put up any sort of positive image for these five, but they keep us laughing out loud week after week.
Next: Maybe It’s a Good Thing Sesame Street Moved to HBO
Next week, the gang gets ready to take on last year’s popular documentaries Making a Murderer and The Jinx in “Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer.” He’s already well on his way to becoming TV’s most well-known sociopath, so this is sure to be a fun episode. Catch all the action Wednesday, February 1st at 10:00 p.m. eastern on FXX.