11 Things We Must Protect in 2017

Photo courtesy of FX

Ryan Murphy

I feel as though, if there were some sort of prophesy wherein we’d be promised, as a society, a savior of culture and a champion of representation in the arts and a real purveyor of wackiness and queer insanity, that prophesy would point us right to Ryan Murphy. For years, he’s been pushing the TV envelope in very weird, very interesting ways, and just last year, he finally pushed it so far, it just exploded and rained down wonderful rainbow confetti on all the land. He gave us American Horror Story, which has gone partially off the rails several times but, like, in a way that was probably on purpose. He gave us American Crime Story, wherein Ross from Friends was the Kardashians’ dad and Marcia Clark’s infamous hair magically transformed into Sarah Paulson’s first Emmy right in front of our eyes. And not only that. Oh, no. He is about to give us Feud, his newest in anthology series, that will be about Joan Crawford and Bette Davis’s beef on the set of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? AND IT WILL STAR JESSICA LANGE AND SUSAN SARANDON.

Do you even know what that means, for the gay community, for women, for television, FOR THE WORLD?!?! And if we keep him alive and thriving, CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE WHAT ELSE HE WILL GIVE TO US? I am certain he’s fulfilling some sort of ritual in which he sacrifices himself to the gods for the greater good of art and culture, and honestly, I’m almost willing to let him go through with it. But let’s at least get him through one more year, hmmkay??