11 Things We Must Protect in 2017
By Tina Wargo
Michelle Obama
Every day for the past eight years, I have woken up in my bed and gone through the day completely unable to comprehend how us mere mortals have been allowed to witness Michelle Obama alive on this Earth alongside us. Simply put, we do not deserve her. She is everything a First Lady should be, and MORE that we didn’t even know we needed a First Lady to be. She’s graceful, she’s kind, she is fierce to an infinite degree. She’s outspoken but respectful, she knows how to laugh at herself, she dances in public, she has raised two intelligent and empowered daughters. She just walks around every day looking like THAT. And she can give a speech that’ll reduce you to tears but also make you suddenly believe you can run a 5k when previously, going from the couch to the bathroom was like, “ugh are you kidding what am I, Mia Hamm??!!”
In short, 2017 will be the most devastating and exciting year to witness (and probably be) Michelle Obama. She will be forced out of the White House which I personally did not sign off on, and we will not longer have the great privilege of watching her exist on this planet and lead us with dignity and those perfect arms. BUT that also means that she’ll no longer be in the White House. And that means she can do whatever she damn well pleases. Do you know what can happen when a woman like Michelle Obama, who has had to be perfectly respectable and composed and relatively silent, gets released back into the general public DURING A NEWLY MINTED TR*MP PRESIDENCY?!?? CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?! CAN ANY OF US???? I know she tells us to go high, and she has set an unbelievable example of what that looks like. But, oh my good holy goddess above us, what I wouldn’t give to see Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama go low. Just once. It is our primary focus in 2017 to keep her safe and THRIVING. Do you hear me??? She’s it. She’s all we have, but she’s also all we’ll ever need tbh.