The 10 Worst Movies of 2016

Image courtesy of Paramount Pictures

9. Ben-Hur

It’s doubtful anyone other than the moneymen thought remaking Ben-Hur would be successful. The film is an iconic piece of cinema. Charlton Heston’s 1959 epic garnered 11 Academy Awards making it the ultimate eldest child that this millenial middle child could never live up to. Ben-Hur (2016) can’t even bother to fail epically. The story of Judah Ben-Hur (Jack Huston) and his tempestuous relationship with adopted brother Massala (Toby Kebbell) presents the Cliff’s Notes version of the tale. Gone is the 3-hour runtime (thank goodness) as well as a wealth of extra characters that would have made these characters compelling.

Everything is played as straight as it can be, a bit of a waste considering the homoerotic subtext the ‘59 version is lampooned for. Judah suffers slightly — far less than Heston did — before becoming a champion charioteer to get revenge on his brother. Unlike the ‘59 version this one is aimed at both the secular market and the evangelical market (with funding by Roma Downey and Mark Burnett). This means the film has big action sequences, but takes a third-act divergence to church, with Rodrigo Santero playing a hipster Jesus who wrests the film out of Judah’s hands. I know Heston isn’t the most dynamic actor in the world, but Ben-Hur’s never looked so dated as it does here in 2016.

Next: Suicide Squad