The 10 Worst Movies of 2016

Still from Shout! Factory

2. King Cobra

This is where the concept of Worst Of lists being an excoriation of low-hanging fruit comes to fruition. I doubt anyone thought King Cobra, the true-life story of the murder of a prominent gay pornographer, would be any good. That’s even after a few critics compared it to Paul Thomas Anderson’s legendary porn drama Boogie Nights. Outside of the fact both deal with the world of X-rated cinema, they shouldn’t be in the same sentence together.

King Cobra’s story sounds interesting, but there’s no focus on who this is made for. Is this a movie for people who know the true story, and consume the products these characters are employed with? Is this hoping to gain audiences who aren’t aware of the murder and might want to learn more? The latter seems to be the case, but director Justin Kelly is too content to make his own XXX movie than tell a narrative.

Over half of the movie’s 90-minute runtime is wrapped up in sex scenes, meant to titillate rather than provide any insight into the characters and their relationships. Scenes will literally stop so two characters can go at it, as if the director got bored and told the actors to waste some time while he got a soda. Actors Garrett Clayton and Keegan Allen act like they’re actually porn stars, and that’s not a good things since their lines sound like two teens discovering the F-word, all said with downcast eyes and shy smiles. The Boogie Nights comparison interested me, but now I just feel dirty.

Next: Blair Witch