Love Actually Plotlines Ranked By Sadness

Courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Billy Mack and Joe

Billy Mack, played with disgustingly marvelous swagger by Bill Nighy, is an aging rockstar looking to make a comeback. His longtime manager, Joe, is always by his side, though often rolling his eyes and willing Billy to shut his mouth during this comeback attempt, which takes the form of an insanely bad Christmas song called “Christmas Is All Around,” a rewritten holiday version of The Troggs’ “Love Is All Around.” Throughout the film, Billy Mack’s many bad decisions include giving children lewd and horrible advice on a live music television program, promising to sing his Christmas hit naked should it top the charts, and perhaps worse than anything, actually delivering on that promise.

As his awful song ironically hits the number one spot, his cultural relevancy returns, so much so that Elton John throws him a party to celebrate. And in the most unexpectedly touching moment of his story and maybe the whole film, Billy leaves the party to instead be with Joe on Christmas. He tells Joe that despite all the love from women and the national public, the real love of his life (platonically, mind you) has been him all along. It’s sweet, it’s a completely unique and strangely resonant twist on the aging rock-star trope, and it makes me cry every time- even as Billy exclaims that they should celebrate the holiday together by watching porn.