The Definitive Ranking of Every Friends Thanksgiving Episode

Friends, “The One With The Rumor,” Screencap via Warner Bros.

6.  The One With The Rumor

Alternative title: “The One with Brad Pitt.” Monica invites an old high school friend of hers and Ross’s, Will, over to Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel doesn’t remember him, but is immediately attracted to him and tries to flirt. Will is continuously hostile to Rachel for what seems to be no reason. But eventually Will reveals that he used to be fat, and Rachel was awful to him in high school. He and Ross were pretty much the sole members of the “I Hate Rachel Green” club and started a rumor about her, which Rachel finds horrific. Amongst the tension, Joey has committed to eating an entire turkey on his own, after he insisted that Monica make one.

Sneakily Feminist Quote:

[While “watching” football]

Chandler: Y’know, it’s been a while since we screamed something, maybe we should.

Phoebe: Oh, okay.

Chandler: [loudly] Oh, come on!

Phoebe: [loudly] No! Damn you, ref! You burn in hell!

Political Correction: Intersex people. Now we all know that Friends could never be described as “woke,” but I think this is one of the most grievous issues presented in the series. Will reveals that, when they were in high school, he and Ross (the sole members of the “I Hate Rachel Green Club”) started a rumor that she was intersex. Well, they don’t use the word intersex, but still.

The fact that Will and Ross thought that was hilarious as teenagers is one thing. Most of us were pretty ignorant in high school, after all, and it would be different if the grown-up versions of any of these characters showed any maturity. But of course, it’s Friends, so they don’t. Rachel is horrified, and Will and Ross find it just as funny as before. The whole thing is just gross and offensive. Everything about it insinuates that being intersex is terrible and disgusting, which is so wrong and sad. And if that’s the price you have to pay for a Brad Pitt guest star turn, it’s just too damn high.

Best Moment: Joey eating an entire turkey with the help of Phoebe’s old maternity pants.

Ranking: 6/10. This episode would be rated much higher if I could get over the whole intersex bit. Still, the inclusion of Brad Pitt made everything super fun, and up until the rumor gets revealed, it’s really enjoyable.