31 Things We Learned from the Game of Thrones Women

S6E9 Official HBO Promo Still

1. You can be your own hero.

Sansa Stark

I know, I know—my favoritism is showing by placing Sansa in the top three. But my girl gets so much hate, her defense squad has to show up whenever possible. Besides, Sansa has a lot to teach us. She’s a model for abuse survivors. Speaking as one myself, I have to say that I’ve never encountered a better representation of my own trauma, its consequences, and my journey in self-preservation and rediscovery. In the real and fictional worlds alike, we tend to be shunted aside and silenced, so Sansa’s arc is so important in terms of representation and awareness.

That’s where this lesson comes in. I learned the hard way that no Prince Charming was going to show up to take the pain away—I had to do that myself. I see this reflected in Sansa’s journey, from Joffrey to Ramsay to taking Winterfell back and restoring her family’s place in the world. Jon may have been declared King in the North, but it was Sansa’s conviction and sacrifice that won the battle. Without her, there would have been no fight; without her, there would have been no victory. Finally, she gained the upper hand. No matter how Ramsay tried to tear her down, to make her nothing, she overcame all that he did to her. She won’t forget it, but she’s saved herself time and again in spite of it.

Sansa has kept herself alive, despite the odds, and she’s won. Whether fictional or otherwise, that’s precisely the sort of success story that victims and survivors need. Profound hope and strength can be found by page and screen alike. And sometimes, that’s the only place where hope can be made plain to see.

Next: 21 Game of Thrones Characters as Disney Songs

How have the women of Game of Thrones impacted your own life and perspectives? Don your crown and sound off in the comments!