Drinking Game… of Thrones

We compile a list of some of the best rules to drink to when you’re binge-watching Game of Thrones in anticipation of the next season.

When one season of Game of Thrones ends, another rewatch begins. Coming off the backend of Season 6 only three months ago, we’re still in the early stages of withdrawal and the anticipation is as profound as ever. Set photos and speculation have been trickling in, but it’s nothing compared to the real, raw world of Westeros. We might not want to find ourselves there by the grace of some universe-crossing teleport–I’d be dead in seconds–but the safety of a screen renders the goings-on in Westeros a healthy dose of entertainment.

But in true Game of Thrones fashion, fans’ suffering is only exacerbated by the fact that  Season 7 of the hit show will be premiering later than its habitual April/May release. As such, we’ll have to find a way to compensate for all that extra empty time. What better way than to settle in for another Thrones fest with a glass (or bottle) of the Imp’s Delight in hand? We might have to wait on new material, but there’s still about 60 hours’ worth to rewatch and pick apart anew.

Whether or not you’re into that kind of deep analysis, though, there’s still fun to be had during a GOT binge party. For the 21-and-older set, drinking games are a fine addition to an otherwise average activity. And when it comes to Game of Thrones, sometimes you need to find a few laughs in order to handle all the emotional blows. With that in mind, grab your wine and check out our list of rules for the ultimate Drinking Game of Thrones.

GIF image via HBO

Drink every time…

• Tyrion drinks. (Solidarity!)
• Some poor sod gets killed off. (Make sure to come up for air during the battle scenes.)
• Daenerys introduces herself, followed by her résumé. (“I am Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and of the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.”)
• One of the Starks fields their massively popular and incredibly vague weather report. (“Winter is coming.”)
• The Lannisters remind someone of their flawless credit score. (“A Lannister always pays their debts.”)
• Jon pouts. (I don’t know what he’s got to sulk about. I mean, has he looked in a mirror recently? Hubba hubba.)
• Someone gives Jon that condescending look and says, “Ah… So you’re Ned Stark’s bastard.” (Okay, maybe that’s why he pouts so much.)
• Tywin is disappointed in his children. (What did you think was gonna happen when you missed all their clarinet concerts for the sake of another late night at the office, Tywin? Of course your kids started makin’ out with each other. Teen rebellion at its finest.)
• Arya has an existential crisis. (“No One.”)
• Daenerys has a barbeque. (“DRACARYS.”)

Image via HBO

• Varys and Littlefinger have a pissing contest to assert their male dominance. (Or perhaps to hide their burgeoning feelings for one another? Intrigue. There’s a fanfiction about this somewhere.)
• One of the Stark boys gets elected prom king even though he didn’t want to be nominated in the first place–i.e., “King in the North! King in the North!” (Basically just waterfall through Robb and Jon’s impromptu coronations, respectively.)
• Olly gives his patented stink-eye. (Adolescents.)
• A wilding tries to pull a Regina George on Jon. (“But you’re like really pretty.”)
• Jaqen H’ghar gets his girlfriends’ names mixed up. Ergo, he calls them all by pet names instead. (“A girl lacks honor. A girl has been given a second chance. A girl is no one.”)
• Some dudebro mocks Brienne. And then she totally destroys the patriarchy like it’s a wall and she’s the Kool-Aid Man. (Meanwhile, Bonnie Tyler sings “I Need a Hero” somewhere in the background.)
• Ygritte is exasperated by her boyfriend’s lack of life experience. (“You know nothing, Jon Snow.”)
• Littlefinger can’t get over his high school crush but she’s dead so he hits on her daughter instead. (Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?)
• A wild redhead appears. (Game of Thrones totally has a monopoly on hot redheads.)
• Sansa wins a rap battle against an unworthy opponent. (“I’m sorry, your Grace, you’re right. I’m a stupid girl. Of course you’ll be in the vanguard. They say my brother Robb always goes where the fighting’s thickest. And he’s only a pretender.” Or, my personal favorite: “You’re going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well.”)

Image via HBO

• The title of the show is uttered in-context, because that’s exciting for all of us. (“When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.”)
• Daenerys haughtily lifts an eyebrow. (Not only does she have expert control of those eyebrows, but she could probably kill a man with one lift, too.)
• Littlefinger’s accent becomes more thickly Irish than it was before. (This may only occur at the beginning of each consecutive season. But listen for it. It’s there.)
• Melisandre passive-aggressively asks for a night light. (“The night is dark and full of terrors.”)
• The bad boys of the Night’s Watch have a temper tantrum. (Which inevitably leads to bickering, butchering, betrayal, and a general disrespect of their vows.)
• Podrick is ADORABLE. (Okay, maybe I made that rule up just for me. But I’m fairly certain we can all drink to that, anyway.)
• Anyone bandies about the word “iron.” (Between thrones and prices, iron is Westeros’ choice metal.)
• Jaime tries to move on from his childhood stardom but everyone keeps recognizing him from that one thing he did. (“Kingslayer.”)
• The White Walkers come out to do a little “Thriller” number. (Plot twist: The big battle is actually a dance-off, in which case, Jon is toast.)
• Hodor. (Hodor.)

Next: Game of Thrones Gets Romantic Costumes for Season 7

Please note: I’m not a doctor or anything, but common sense suggests that you don’t follow all these rules at once. Game of Thrones deals strongly with strategic battle plans. By that same token, you should make sure you follow that example before you get Lannister wasted.