Wizard’s Council: On the Pottermore Patronus Quiz
Our wizard’s council considers this week’s philosophical question: What do we think of the new Pottermore quiz? And what Patronus did we each cast?
Welcome to the Wizard’s Council. Back in olden days, before the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy in 1692, the Wizarding world was governed by the Wizard’s Council. This was the longest serving ruling body over the Wizarding World in history, and though it was disbanded in 1707 with the founding of the Ministry of Magic, it was still considered one of the wisest and august bodies to ever rule the UK and Irish Wizarding Worlds. (Sadly, the same cannot be said for the Ministry, which seems to only be as good as its current Minister.) Here at Wizards and Whatnot, we come together once again as this august body to think deeply on the issues of our time.
Philosophical Question of the Hour: Based on Pottermore and J.K. Rowling’s official quiz, what’s your Patronus? Do you feel that it’s accurate? Would you have preferred a different one and, if so, what? What did you think of the quiz overall?
KATIE: Finally, Pottermore dropped one of the most anticipated quizzes. I think I speak for all fans when I say I was thrilled. I don’t know that any of us has wanted to know something so badly, aside from perhaps their Hogwarts house. So I was going to be pleased no matter what. That being said, I think the quiz itself could use some work.
For instance, it starts far too abruptly. When Pottermore gave me my first set of words, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with them. The quiz chastised me for taking my sweet time and I figured it out from there. But I have to wonder if that lapse affected my result. Perhaps that’s indicative of my character and subsequently my Patronus? I’m not sure, but it certainly threw me off-guard.
I ended up with a black-and-white cat. Seems accurate; I dig it. I’m not sure why there’s so much color differentiation when the Patronus is transparent, anyway. Maybe it’s all about symbolism. Is there a difference between the black-and-white cat and the ginger cat Patronuses, for example? This is where further exploration would have come in handy. The Hogwarts houses and wands are extrapolated on beautifully, and I wish these results were likewise. My wand wood and core were astoundingly descriptive, but the only information we get on our Patronus is its shape.
This further begs the question: What’s with some of these results? I’ve been checking comments across the web, and people are getting everything from thestrals to buzzards. Who’s going to be pleased that the manifestation of their soul is a buzzard? I’m going to hazard a guess here and say “virtually no one.” Without further descriptions of what these Patronuses could mean to you, I think a lot of fans are going to feel shortchanged. I mean, not to be a hater, but—salmon? Come on, you might as well throw a rubber chicken at a horde of dementors and then just book it in the opposite direction. (Of course, a salmon Patronus still does its job, whereas a rubber chicken probably wouldn’t. But, alas, that’s where my mind went.)
Image via Pottermore
DAN: Katie, I too would like to know more about how the quiz operates. How many animals are there? (A lot, I would guess, if a jaeger is one of the possible outcomes.) Is a delay in answering the test part of the test? Why do so many of the outcomes seem to be…well, lame? Salmon? Pig? Shrew? Shrew? What is J.K. Rowling trying to tell us about ourselves?
But there’s also something fun about not knowing. And not just because giving us an answer key would stem the hilarious tide of people upset that their innermost souls take the form of weasels and moles. More generally, who are we to say that we aren’t all aardvarks at heart? The Harry Potter books are supposed to make people more empathetic. In that vein, maybe this is Rowling’s way of inspiring us to reconsider our conceptions of stereotypically unimpressive animals. All creatures are beautiful, including stupid ones like field mice.
I got a wild rabbit, for the record. I don’t see how it has anything to do with me, since I don’t like carrots nor am I fleet-footed. But after seeing some of the other results, I feel like I should be content. And I enjoyed the test itself. It made zero sense to me, but was pleasantly trippy.
Image via Pottermore
KELLY: *cue fancy Pottermore Patronus quiz music*
*accidentally click the first word of the quiz because I have no clue what is going on*
*let extreme anxiety overtake my soul*
*click as quickly as possible which is not quick at all since I’m panicking my answers will affect my result*
*feel heart rate increase rapidly as Pottermore tells me I’m not GOING FAST ENOUGH*
*panic, click, panic, click, panic, click*
*follow instructions to click, drag and release*
EXPECTO PATRONUM
(drum roll….)
As I watched the fancy, glittery, silver mist appear on my screen and waited in extreme anticipation to FINALLY see what my Patronus was, I saw a bunny start to hop in the air. My nervous-happy-excited face turned into a confused-angry face. “Is that a *insert expletive* bunny hopping across the screen?”
No, Pottermore told me. It’s a brown hare.
My anger slightly dissipated and I somewhat happily accepted my result after realizing my girl Luna Lovegood–aka one of my favorite characters–also had a hare Patronus. I then clicked on every link Pottermore showed me, hoping to learn more about my Patronus and what it means. Sadly, I found out it was not going to tell me anything else. It wouldn’t let me retake the quiz, either.
Overall, I liked the quiz, especially the graphics and the music. The more I think about it, I can see what J.K. Rowling and the creators were thinking. When you are fighting off dementors and trying to cast a Patronus, you must think extremely quickly. I think if I was in Dumbledore’s Army, it would have definitely taken me awhile to finally cast a full Patronus.
I obviously wanted something awesome like a dragon, so I was still disappointed. But when I learned that my Patronus is quite good compared to some of the others (SALMON?! MOLE?!), I felt 1000 times better. Of course, in true Ravenclaw fashion, I cannot cope with the fact that I didn’t do my best on this quiz since I was panicking. So I have decided I will make a brand new account and retake the quiz!
Image via Pottermore
RYAN: I was instantly overjoyed when I got word that the Patronus quiz was here. The questions were a bit rushed and some of the results weren’t very rewarding on the surface. I mean, come on, a duck?? I feel bad for the poor soul that got a duck. Per Katie’s example, a duck is about as useful as a salmon. But I’m not here to nitpick, as I rather want to point out the lore and feeling about the very quiz itself.
I think the setting of the Forbidden Forest is wonderful for the quiz. It brings you back to Prisoner of Azkaban, when the Patronuses were first introduced. We whipped through the trees while we answered questions at breakneck speed, like Harry and Hermione when they were being chased by Professor Lupin in his werewolf form through the forest. When all the questions were answered, we arrived at the very spot where Harry cast his stag Patronus that saved Sirius and himself. There, we finally got to cast our very OWN Patronus! Incidentally, mine is a brown bear. I thoroughly applaud the presentation of this quiz.
Going forth, I hope we get the meanings of our personal Patronuses. As of now, I really don’t see a connection between me and a brown bear. In the past, we got descriptions about our houses and wands. In that way, we were able to connect and reflect on the results. But with the Patronus, we only got information on Patronuses themselves.
Image via Pottermore
AYESHA: I have certainly been anticipating this quiz since Pottermore launched. As for formatting, I think the graphics are lovely, and it does a good job of asking you to use your instincts. However, I actually think such a format would’ve been better for Sorting. You cast a successful Patronus from a happy memory, so it doesn’t really rely on your instincts. It’s about your deeper emotions.
I’m fairly sure the end results are heavily weighted in the time aspect. I think it must note the time you take precisely (perhaps even down to the millisecond) for each answer. That may be how there are so many different results. I suppose that’s why there are so many people who feel their results weren’t what they were expecting, too. When it comes to houses, there are only four options, and we know their traits. Meanwhile, it’s not really that clear why people get one Patronus over another.
In my case, I received a Nebelung cat. Maybe it’s just a small sample, but I feel like there are more options for cats than any other animal. It doesn’t exactly speak to me on a spiritual level, but I can see why. Nebelungs are sociable but introverted, and long-limbed and lively. They’re even known to act like dogs, which is more up my alley animal-wise. Of course, it might be useful if Pottermore put info like that up with the result. However, a quick Google search meant that I wasn’t far away from an answer. Funnily enough, Nebelung means “creature of the mist,” which is essentially what a Patronus is anyway.
Image via Pottermore
MARNIFER: Hot damn, I love these Pottermore quizzes! Unfortunately, it looks like I missed out on a major part of the fun. I took the quiz on a tablet and saw none of the animation, nor heard any music! Nonetheless, it was an entertaining word game. But nowhere near as detailed or involved as the wand and the Sorting quizzes. It felt a bit empty. (The animation probably would have helped with that.)
Having no description of what it means to have your Patronus manifest as this or that creature is disappointing. Regardless, I’m happy with what Pottermore assigned me: the hummingbird. That’s a lovely, graceful animal to have as a Patronus, and one that I find kinda magical already. I love the fact that it builds on a theme. I’m a Ravenclaw, a Thunderbird, and now have a hummingbird for a Patronus. I don’t know that the hummingbird necessarily represents anything about me (except perhaps my desire to be graceful). I don’t see how it aligns with the words I chose during the quiz, either. Still, I had fun while the quiz lasted!
Image via Pottermore
What about you, fellow Potterheads? Do you think the quiz could use some tweaks? Are you happy with your Patronus? Or are you among those who have opted for a new Pottermore account to cast the spell again?
Next: Fans Encourage Patronus Positivity Movement
Our Wizard’s Council meets every other week, unless there is an emergency session. Check out our other entries here.