Rupaul’s Drag Race pulls twists aplenty in “Revenge of the Queens”

The eliminated queens are back! And there’s performing again, but it’s a long story! It’s a wonderfully messy episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.

The main question posed by “Revenge of the Queens” is “Can people change?” And the answer is “no.” Since the season began, Phi Phi O’Hara has been trying to rehabilitate the reputation she gained in Season 4 as a manipulative backstabber, but since the season began, she’s been sliding back into that role, needling contestants about their choices and undermining their confidence. In this episode, her backslide is complete. She’s defensive throughout, rewriting the story of Season 4 to make herself look like an underdog, claiming that her words are being twisted, and exiting the stage without making peace with Alyssa, with whom she snipes all night.

It’s a shame, because Phi Phi was always talented, and she’s clearly evolved as a drag queen during her time away from the show. Her cosplay-inspired looks were a highlight of the runway, and she brought her A-game to the acting and improvisation challenges, even if they weren’t her forte. Why can’t she drop old habits? Is it compulsive? Is it the editing? (She certainly seems to think so.) It’s hard to know—all that’s certain is that she’s gone, along with her chance to make a second first impression.

The other question posed by “Revenge of the Queens” is “How many twists can RuPaul throw up on screen?” And the answer is “A lot.” All season long, we’ve been teased with glimpses of eliminated queens looking into a video screen as RuPaul promises them a “revenge.” This week, they all return, and then they choose one of the remaining queens to mount a two-man comedy routine with, and then the two eliminated queens who perform best lip sync against each other, and the winner sends one of the remaining queens home and gets to return to the competition herself. And because Adore left the competition early, there’s an odd number of contestants, so Roxxxy ends up having to emcee the review (or ruview, because this show) by herself.

It’s a lot of rules, maybe too many for a show where contestants are graded in part on the strength of their salad-based puns, but let it never be said RuPaul isn’t willing to embrace the lunacy of reality TV. All of these twists are designed to generate as much drama as possible, what the eliminated girls getting up close and personal with the people who eliminated them. Alyssa and Phi Phi had the biggest blowout this week, but if the producers needed it, they had an Alyssa-Ginger feud waiting in the wings.

However, the rules aren’t there to make the most of the queens’ comedic talents, and like comedy episodes in seasons past, the jokes here aren’t all that funny. I already mentioned the salad puns… It’s cool that Roxxxy was able to come up with so many (“I was over in the beautiful Thousand Island on a beautiful Ranch”), but man are they lame. I mean, lame can be fun, but she doesn’t manage to walk the line between so-bad-it’s-good and just bad. Still, she gets points for pulling off costume changes (and character changes) throughout her act—that ambition may have been what saved her from elimination.

Phi Phi and Coco are also duds. They throw themselves into their ratchet characters, but there’s nary a joke to be found in their act. I’ll let Katya sum them up: “Coco and Phi Phi are not so much doing a comedy routine but a live-action off-off-off-off Broadway theater production of Hookers at the Point.”

Alyssa and Alaska fare much better. A lot of credit must go to Alaska for knowing how to manage Alyssa’s unique talents. (Alaska: “Your strengths are off-the-cuff buffoonery.”) Alyssa is funny…but almost never intentionally. So Alaska writes a rough outline that allows Alyssa to explode with personality. Then she breaks it up with her pinpoint comic timing, getting laughs from one-word capstones to Alyssa’s antics. It works, and once again shows how smart a competitor Alaska is. (She stays far afield all of the drama, too.) If she doesn’t win this whole thing, I’ll be shocked.

Ginger and Katya play it straight (metaphorically speaking) with a Best Frenemies routine full of snappy put-downs. (Ginger, as she and Katya walk on to the stage to applause: “That’s not the first time she’s gotten clap from a roomful of people.”) Detox and Tatianna follow suit as a pair of off-color socialites and an act full of alliteration and sex jokes. It’s fact-paced and chock-full of material, and lands them in the top with Alaska and Alyssa.

In the end, it’s Alyssa and Tatianna, wearing what look like coordinated black-and-white superhero outfits with matching blonde wigs, lip syncing to Rihanna’s “Shut Up and Drive.” It’s entertaining. Of course it is. It’s two men dressed as women lip syncing to Rihanna’s “Shut Up and Drive.” They’re energetic, they’re feeling the music, and again, they’re two men dressed as women lip syncing to Rihanna’s “Shut Up and Drive.”

But it all comes back to that first question: Can people change? Or, going further, did they need to in the first place? Phi Phi O’Hara is refusing to attend the All Stars finale on account of how the show treated her. According to her, RuPaul’s Drag Race has played her for a fool from the start, editing her to look like a villain and not allowing her the redemption arc it promised. Is the game rigged? Possibly. Is she simply bitter? Maybe. Does it all make for good TV? For better or worse, absolutely.

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Random Ruflections

• There’s no runway walk this week, but the eliminated queens do come back in showing off their own two-in-one looks. Tatianna’s is easily the best, as she flicks her wrist and transforms a poofy shirt into a long-skirt-and-brazier combo. I’m glad she’s back.
• Coco’s contribution to the Phi Phi-Alyssa drama at the top of the hour: “It’s about to get real interesting.” Thank you, Coco. Talented as she is, she never seemed to have a big enough personality to go far on this season.

• According to RuPaul, girls who have been on Drag Race before aren’t “alumni,” they’re “Drag Race Illuminati.”
• Tatianna: “I picked Detox to be my partner because she’s funny, she’s dirty, and she’s not Phi Phi or Roxxxy. Choices.” Again, glad she’s back.

• Alyssa Edwards returns, and that mean more malapropisms. Honestly, she’s not back in the work room five minutes before she calls “Cliffsnotes” “Cleffnotes.” Alaska on how she found out the difference: “I read them. They’re books.” You know what? I’m glad Alyssa’s back, too.
• Both Alaska and Phi Phi (as a boy) have new singles out. You probably shouldn’t watch either of them at work.